“The whole “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion” argument is taken WAY out of context and does not mean what you think it means. “
I am happy to hear what you think Romans 9 is talking about.
The reason why Paul wrote Romans 9 is to explain why not all Jews were saved. Paul himself was troubled by this that he wished that if it were possible, that he himself would be condemned to hell for all eternity in exchange for the salvation of his fellow Jews.
Back in the first century, there are many Jews who believed that because God made a covenant promise to Abraham, all Jews are considered elect. Paul explained it is not necessarily Abraham’s physical descendants who are elected to inherit salvation, but rather those who has the faith in God that Abraham has. He used Ishmael and Esau (forefathers of the Ishmaelites and Edomites) as examples of those who despite being a physical descendant of Abraham, are not considered elect.