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So what is the ‘second death’ as you understand it - eternal torment or eternal oblivion?

How is that different from ‘choose our side or else’?

Well, “or else” means, with the “annihilation” doctrine, that they live their life, eat and drink, and enjoy the fruits of their labor, and then they die like animals. They are destroyed as in the wheat vs tares parable. This applies even if you had never heard of Christ. You were not “chosen” by him, so your natural man lives and dies and that’s it. Just like your pet.

“Or else” in the “eternal torment” version means if you do not accept Christ, even if you were never properly ministered to, you will suffer for days and nights without end in a way you could not even imagine - and in ways the worst of the evil men ever to live - by God himself.

The latter is one of the main stumbling blocks of trying to bring people into the fold who are in Christian nations where the churches teach this. And rightly so because it is the default. That is, God created man, for the most part, to torture for all eternity. Only the few he chooses escape. They do not see this god as a loving god. I use lower case on purpose because I don’t either. It is not the personality of the God of the bible. This God destroys the evil and the unsaved. He doesn’t get His jollies watching them suffer at His leisure. It is not the point. The point is salvation. And salvation from permanent death/destruction/perish and the other similar words that Jesus uses.

Yes. Jesus.

A really good study here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5oCcGDvaxE

Or you can read another excellent breakdown here:

http://jeremyandchristine.com/articles/eternal.php

And don’t forget Lazarus and the rich man:

http://jeremyandchristine.com/articles/lazarus.html

And one of the older rundowns:

http://www.biblicalperspectives.com/books/immortality_resurrection/6.htm

But a loving god