Sorry, retweeting the pope won't get you out of hell

CNN ^ | 7/17/2013 | Rev. James Martin, SJ

[Mrs. Don-o]

Are you familiar with this sort of usage?

• "You can get out of going to remedial classes if you pass the test next week."

• "You can get out of doing dishes if we all use paper plates."

• "You can get out of explaining anything if you just pile it all on higher and deeper."

I think most of us understand how this works.

[Alex Murphy]

Are you familiar with this sort of usage? ... I think most of us understand how this works.

"I saved my dog from choking to death on a chicken bone last week."
"Wow - you're a hero! How'd you do that?"
"I didn't give him any chicken bones."

[Mrs. Don-o]

YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION!!

I KNEW A CALVINIST COULD DO THAT.` ` ` ` I JUST KNEW IT!!!!

Man, this turned into an exciting day for me.

[Tax-chick]

If you’re in hell, as the slightly askew headline could be understood, how would you “retweet”? Although I’m sure there must be iPods and Smartphones in Hell, because they certainly make my life seem like it ...

[Alex Murphy]

YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION!! I KNEW A CALVINIST COULD DO THAT.` ` ` ` I JUST KNEW IT!!!!

Uhhh....erm...OK. So...ahem....Mary was sinless because her parents didn't feed her any chicken bones?

[Alex Murphy]

If you’re in hell, as the slightly askew headline could be understood, how would you “retweet”? Although I’m sure there must be iPods and Smartphones in Hell, because they certainly make my life seem like it ...

In Hell, all the Apple products are older models with cracked screens, batteries that won't hold a charge, and no extended service plans.

[Mrs. Don-o]

... and you're capable of the apt metaphor, too. (Still beaming at you.)

If you understand the symbol of "chicken bones" (mutatis mutandis) as a type or figure of something your parents might pass on to you that would cause you inevitably to choke, sicken and die; and then, understand the Sovereign Lord (imagined as a celestial Colonel Saunders) (who knew what was going to happen from before the foundation of the world) set things up so this li'l baby would NOT get the chicken bones...

...and so the li'l baby grows up to say "My spirit rejoices in God (metaphorically, Colonel Saunders) my Savior, because He who is Mighty has done great things for me..."

You see, she has a Savior who saved her from choking on chicken bones, by making sure she didn't get any of the chicken bones in the first place.

You'll have to work out the proper Calvinist schema about Hot Wings, Extra Crispy, Cole Slaw and Biscuits on your own. I feel sure they're somewhere in the five Books of Moses...

Check Genesis under "Original Recipe".

[BlueDragon]

"You deserve your destruction.:

"Your particular judgment is going to be a very unpleasant experience. You had better be prepared."

Geez, you guys. Do you have to share pillow talk and swap spit in public?

Get a room.

[BlueDragon]

In Hell, all the Apple products are older models with cracked screens, batteries that won't hold a charge, and no extended service plans.

But like Timex watches, they take a licking and keep on ticking? Wait a minute, not like a Colonel Sanders uh, er "licking".

To many metaphors flying around. Must_pray_to_immaculate_ (blood eating chicken heart?) for deliverance?

Just because I understand the various versions of chicken heart stories, doesn't mean I believe the red pulsating clearance light on top of the water tower is one of them.

[Alex Murphy]

To many metaphors flying around. Must_pray_to_immaculate_ (blood eating chicken heart?) for deliverance?

KFC may be serving up Boneless Marys, but Chik Fil-A has them beat:
NUGGET OF JESUS [Sacred Heart of Jesus appears as a Chik-Fil-A Chicken Nugget]

A peculiar item has been spotted on eBay, a chicken nugget in the shape of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The Sacred Heart for many Catholics represents Jesus’ love for humanity. It is often used to symbolize the love and admiration that one has for Christ.

The heart shaped piece of processed chicken was discovered by the daughter of a nurse in a Chick-Fil-A nugget pack. The mother, who ironically works in the Cardiac division of an Iowa City hospital has put the item up for auction on eBay in order to help pay off her student loan debt. There is no documentation with the nugget to prove its origin, not even a receipt of purchase, but the seller insures all interested parties that it is in fact made of chicken and purchased from Chick-Fil-A. However, it is hard to believe that the seller can actually know that it is made from chicken.

[BlueDragon]

oh good gravy. I should have known you would have had a related link all ready to go. lol

Maybe we can get 'em started on the meme that we are BOTH "mods" (sans vespa scooters) and we are one and the same person, too. As we are both us (I mean just me myself and I) also several other people around here, including some of the FRoman Catholics who are such [expletives deleted] they make that "church" look bad.

We are I am sneaky that way.

[Greetings_Puny_Humans]

That passage has nothing to do with purgatory, in my very learned opinion.

[Greetings_Puny_Humans]

“It has to do with a man whose “works” were kind of a mixed bag, but who - in the Day of the Lord — is purified of the worthless stuff, which is burnt; he himself is saved, but only as through fire.”

---

A rather depraved sort of conclusion, since it supposes that a man is able to add to the work of God in meriting heaven, when salvation is by grace without the working of the law.

Rom_11:6 And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work.

How does it follow then, that after death you can merit heaven after going through suffering, as if your suffering can merit heaven for you because the suffering of Christ was imperfect?

As to this particular passage, it says nothing about the man being burned at all, which in your fantasy is the case. It is his work which is burned, and so we can understand this of his false notions, the hay and stubble he built upon a truly good foundation, which will be exposed and removed in the great day, “yet so as by fire,” with great difficulty, as if saved from a burning house.

[Mrs. Don-o]

#7

[Greetings_Puny_Humans]

“#7”

... and your point?

[Mrs. Don-o]

That’s what I mean.

[Greetings_Puny_Humans]

There’s nothing in that link, my own post even from another thread, that even discusses anything even near to purgatory.

[bkaycee]

Why doesnt the Pope hand out plenary indulgences out to every Catholic once a week?

[Revolting cat!]

“What to do? What to do?” (V.I.Lenin)

[Mrs. Don-o]

I guess you’d have to ask him, wouldn’t you?