[Alex Murphy]

But oh no, when I dig up a bunch of skeletons from the local grave yard, dress them in business suits and fancy dresses, and set them up around my parlor for tea it’s called “criminally deranged”, “disgustingly delusional”, and “the sign of a severely sick and twisted mind.”

Multiple reports say Schoenborn nailed the swimsuit contest, looking fierce in a red two-piece that accentuated his abs, and had mastered the art of walking in stilettos, a skill integral to the Pope's role of walking on eggshells around questions of sexual abuse. But his reputation as a mama's boy did Schoenborn in. Even his vocal talents during a puppet show using the heads of Sts. Peter and Paul, with Schoenborn dressed as the Virgin Mary, couldn't save him.

"He really did make it sound like those severed heads were talking," said Cardinal Timothy Dolan. "But in the end, I just couldn't vote for the guy."
-- from the online article Schoenborn Nails Swimsuit But Not Enough For Pope

[BlueDragon]

"Walking on eggshells" is about right. Funny that that description comes from satire.