If that’s true, and I have no reason to doubt you, it’s too bad. That’s not been my experience whatsoever. As I have mentioned, I had been saved for 30 years before I embraced Calvinism and it happened while I was still a member of a prominent Southern Baptist Church, a place we were very plugged in and comfortable. Understand initially I wanted nothing to do with Calvinism because I realized what it meant. I didn’t understand it all, but I knew enough to realize it would be a radical change. Since then I have lost friends over it. I never tried to get them to believe as I do and we never had any cross words about it, but my family was shunned once they understood what we believe. I had friends ask questions about it. Once they heard my answers I never heard from them again. If I can’t play golf or go hunting and fishing or my kids can’t go swimming all because we believe God is sovereign, then so be it.
After a while I realized we needed to look for another church home. When I first took my family to visit Calvinist congregation we were wowed by the welcome and warmth shown to us, both by pastors and regular people in the pews. We visited a number of places before we finally settled. Before that happened we enjoyed much hospitality and made many new Christian friends among several other congregations. We did visit one place where we did not feel welcome. For what it’s worth, it was a Presbyterian congregation in the PCA. However, we visited other Presbyterian congregations that welcomed us with open arms, so it has nothing to do with Presbyterianism.
My little church home doesn’t impress the world, but if you are a believer the people and the warmth would impress you. Their love of The Lord would impress you. The digging deep into the Scriptures would impress you. There are families driving two hours each way every Sunday to get there. Each of them must pass a hundred other Baptist churches on the way. Just last week a senior citizen who is a deacon in a large Southern Baptist Church in another city told me he has never visited another place like it.
I suspect your experience has to do with the particular folks you have encountered. There are hot and cold Calvinist congregations, just as there are with all others. In the end truth is based on His word, it’s not based on those who believe it.
It’s good to hear that you’ve had such a positive experience. Of course it does make a difference that you are yourself a Calvinist. I.e.: none of the aggressive, in some cases outright vicious, Calvinists I’ve encountered would have been anything but warm towards me IF I had been a Calvinist too. What set them off was the fact that I am not. If you see the difference?
I did attend a Presbyterian church for a little over two yrs, PCA. The people were okay: friendly, but in a kind of arms’ length way. I hadn’t given the idea that they were Calvinists much thought; that just wasn’t my main focus at the time. Interestingly, at about the two yr mark, the pastor preached a TULIP sermon of an almost hellfire variety. He’d never done anything like that before, in the not inconsiderable time I was there. It unsettled me a bit.
It wasn’t as unsettling, however, as the scandal that enveloped the place a few mos later. I won’t go into the details, but it did involve the pastor & it was pretty bad. Now I can’t tell you that there was one scintilla of a connection between this pastor’s first ever [in my experience] Calvinistic brimstone sermon & the scandalous doings behind the scenes. The juxtaposition was suggestive, but nothing more. I had already decided, by that point, that it wasn’t the right place for me spiritually-speaking, so I moved on.
Anyway, I don’t really have anything more to add. I appreciate the time you took on your reply, & I did find it interesting. Blessings to you & yours.
[You might find it interesting that several of the congregants mentioned to me that the TULIP sermon startled them considerably. One made it a point to tell me they didn’t believe the TULIP theology. Not sure what that was all about, but fwiw, there you have it.]