If it’s a boy, tell him that there are other ways to get accepted.
If it’s a girl, tell her that there are other ways to hate men (or boys).
Every child, whether gay or straight, is oriented toward sin, and so are you.
If some one was really gay they kept their mouth shut about it because they knew it was wrong, I honestly don`t believe they even had to be told.
So it seems to me when a child tells you he is gay what he is doing is openly rejecting God, and not only rubbing his parents nose in it but deliberately trying to rub Gods nose in it too.
A child who can make a decision in this matter is either old enough to go his own way or has been ruined by those who should have been making his decisions.
Mathew 10
34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.
35 For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’;
ruined to
36 and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’
37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
My son has been a homosexual for over ten years. The following article helps to keep me praying, which I must say, really gets hard as the years go by.
Ministering to Homosexuals in San Francisco
Charles A. McIlhenny
Extracted from Ordained Servant vol. 6, no. 1 (January 1997)
A mother tearfully confided in me as pastor that her son poignantly declared himself “gay.” She had always “known” that he was different. He didn’t play sports, he wasn’t vicious or brutal, he liked music and interior decorating, he had a slight swagger to his gait, he spoke with a faint hair-lisp, and always hung around Uncle Harry at family gatherings. His declaration, however, seemed to be the “coup de grace” on their relationship - his relationship to his mother. I momentarily reflected on her sobbing, and then replied that it seemed like she was grieving over the discovery that her son was a from another planet—a Martian! That his supposed “coming out”—his confessing a newly discovered faith-sex-condition—put him beyond the pale of her fundamentalist retrieval and that she’d better get used to him being an alien, i. e., gay!
The homosexual propaganda machine has been cranking out overtime, to an unbelieving secular media, convincing people that “gay” is equivalent to any other already legitimate genetic race-like group. And amazingly many naive Christians have been seduced by such propaganda.
News Flash, Madam! Your son is NOT a Martian. He’s a sinner that needs the grace of God—JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER SINNER.
When people ask me if we have any special counseling for homosexuals I say yes: the counsel of the Word of God, the counsel of the preaching of the Gospel, the counsel of God’s call of repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, the counsel of God’s corporate covenant community in worship. Contrary to the gimmicks of the world, you’d better believe we have something special.
Is the modern homosexual a special case with unique and complex psychoses which the primitive Scriptures never knew? Have we imbibed the pseudo-medical conclusion which places the 20th century homophile beyond the reach of the naive, hysterical dictates of the Word of God? Does the Word of God fail to recognize newly discovered genetic and biological factors to which, had they been known, would have made a difference in whether to condemn or accept homosexuals as just different? Does the Bible fail to appropriately distinguish between orientation and praxis? Does the Bible really condemn homosexuals or does it condemn heterosexuals acting contrary to their natures? Is it inversion or perversion which is forbidden by the Scriptures? The answer to all these questions is a resounding NO! Homosexuals have no place to hide from the scrutiny of God’s Law—no more than any other sinner who tries to invent excuses for his sin. That’s why the homosexual paradigm is so crucial for the church today. If this sin can be justified, then ANY sin can be excused; but the only justification recognized by the Word is that of sinners who repent and believe in the cross of Christ, instead of making excuses.
No, homosexuals are to be recieve no special method or message different from other sinners that need Jesus. If that were the case every sinner would have a special excuse for his peculiar type sin. The Bible is clear that sin, of whatever make and model, can only be forgiven by grace and overcome by the power of the gospel.
News flash! The opposite of a homosexual IS NOT a heterosexual. The idea that a homosexual is of another human kind is as foolish as saying the opposite of a paedophile is a heterosexual, or the opposite of an adulterer is a heterosexual. The true opposite of fornication is regeneration; the biblical opposite of paedophilia is justification; the cleansed opposite of homosexuality is sanctification. They ARE all heterosexuals! They haven’t stopped BEING heterosexuals. They have all broken God’s moral law. They all need to be converted -” to be washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” [1 Cor. 6: 11]
In a sense every sinner is different in his sin but there is only ONE common faith-message: repent and believe the gospel. Paul told the Philippian jailer: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved, you and your household.” [Acts 16: 31] This was not tailor-made for Philippian government workers or European white/ male or Greek mid-life crises jailers with families. Paul would have said this to anyone no matter what his background or circumstance of sin would be.
Many of the homosexuality-plagued seekers think that they must be a special case. It’s supposedly too hard to give up this sin; ergo, maybe it’s not sin after all! These people must see that it is no more difficult to abandon this sin than any other sin. That this sin has the same cleansing promise as every other sin—no more and no less than the work of Christ.
Paul does say that, compared to other sins, sexual sin denigrates the human body; but he doesn’t give them a different message of the gospel, nor promise a separate healing. [1 Cor. 6: 18]
One size fits all.
As for the homosexual’s recovery the Apostle gives him the one common holy institution for all sinners: the divinely appointed redemptive agency of the Church of Jesus Christ. I say that as a pastor who knows from the Word of God that this is the covenant institution—the family of God—which best cares for sinners and saints. She cares for sinners in warning them to flee from the wrath to come forbidding them entrance into the Kingdom of God while unrepentant; and for saints, in that it provides the comfort of the gospel of the forgiveness of sins and protection against the enemy. This institution sets the overall context for counseling those struggling with homosexuality.
San Francisco culture has a uniqueness when it comes to ministering to homosexuals. In the first place, there is such a strong support system legally organized to reinforce homosexual way of life that part of the biblical therapy process many times demands fleeing this City altogether. There is such a bombardment of homosexuality—at every level of government, education, medical/health, scientific, media, entertainment and legislation—that in order to forsake wickedness as the Apostle exhorts, one must actually flee the City like Lot of old—not because of an impending brimstone shower but because the seduction is so wickedly powerful.
Every imaginable agency, institution, and ombudsman provides for the most perplexed and questioning homosexual and lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and transvestite, and transgenerational person. Even worse, virtually every mainline church—loosely defined—supports gay/ lesbian causes along with same-sex marital unions.
Just recently the San Francisco Human Rights Commission, along with the endorsement of the Mayor and the Board of Supervisors, hosted a televised hearing for “Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender, and Questioning Youth Summit.” Over four hours of testimony was taken from self-proclaimed homosexual teens by these agencies in order to see if added legislation was necessary to support “our gay youth” in the City. New health & medical services were demanded, free condom distribution, free needle for exchanges, gay/lesbian counseling services at the junior high and high school level.
In ministering to the homosexual inquirer, we’ve found that he must cut off all relations with his old “community”; he must reconstitute by faith into the family of God. He needs a whole new set of spiritual brothers and sisters, moms and dads, found in the Church of Christ. He needs a remodeled family in which to pattern new life and conduct; a place where God’s man is a man and God’s woman is really woman; husbands acting like husbands and wives acting like wives. It’s not simply a matter of a “role model” reversal; it’s not replacing one “role” with another “role” as if play acting. A godly structured atmosphere is found only in the church of Jesus Christ that offers real hope and remedy for the enslaved sex addict.
In ministering to the homosexual inquirer not only must the Law of God be pressed upon the conscience but God’s one forgiveness in Christ alone must be also offered. Unless homosexuality be understood fundamentally as sin—transgression of God’s one and only moral Law—no further deliverance and recovery ought to be expected.
Here are fundamental givens based exclusively on the Word of God. Do NOT compromise on the biblical message of sin and grace. That is the repentant homosexual’s only hope. Do NOT compromise for the sake of winning the sympathetic hearing. His eternal security is in the uncompromised message of the Scriptures which every sinner needs.
He needs:
1.re-enforcement from the Word on what God says about homosexuality: grace, forgiveness and judgment,
2.regular monitored accountability meetings with the elders; one of the elders should covenant to pray for him daily, (part of that accountability is in regular weekly prayer and Bible study gatherings with the congregation at large),
3.reminding that the continual faith-struggle with temptation is part of the sanctification process—it’s when he stops struggling that he’s got problems,
4.reassurance that he’s not alone in this battle for victory; other members—every member—also struggles like he does,
5.to be careful about putting himself in temptation’s way,
6.to avoid being introduced to someone else who struggles with the same sexual sin—that’s too much temptation. Many of these Christians live alone and temptation in such cases is much more difficult to resist,
7.to know that in Christ he/ she is no longer a homosexual or lesbian just like converted murders and liars are no longer such despite temptations and feelings! “Such WERE some of you. . .” [1 Cor. 6: 11]
The Apostle Paul exhorts Timothy to “flee youthful lusts. . . with those calling upon the Lord. . .” [2 Tim. 2: 22] In other words, the exhortation to flee lust is ALONG WITH others struggling against sin in the context of the covenant community. The agency of the church has no hope for unrepentant homosexual only God’s sure wrath. The church has no authority from her Lord and Head to offer any hope apart from the grace of conversion; but for any repentant sinners, all the resources of the eternal God—“. . . my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” [Phil 4: 19]
As pastor I have the sure “medicine” for sin and relief in the preaching of the gospel. The ultimate counseling session must be done in the corporate worship service not merely private sessions; the full extent of the divinely appointed-ordinances of the Lord are necessary to combat and destroy every high thing and thought exalted against the Lord. Families in the church must be made aware of their needed role in ministering to individuals struggling with sin. Yet at the same time a person’s sexual past is really nobody else’s business. A group gathering of like minded repentant homosexuals must not congregate to talk out their mutual trials. Such sessions subtly foster rather than battle temptations. The mixed—heterogeneous—congregation common ground for all is God’s safest sanctuary for biblical “group-therapy.”
Thank God there is this: the one size-fits-all gospel which alone guarantees to all sinners deliverance through our one common Savior, Jesus Christ. As I counsel struggling Christians, if the Christian faith does NOT save you from YOUR sin, then I’ll renounce the faith and join you. If it won’t work equally for you, it won’t work for me either. Whatever peculiar providences may have “caused” one’s moral adversity, unless he begins where Scripture begins, he will not end where Scripture promises—an end to sin.
November 13, 1996
The Rev. Dr. Charles A. McIlhenny is pastor of First Orthodox Presbyterian Church of San Francisco, California. For the past twenty years or so he has dared to boldly proclaim the truth of the Scriptures in America’s most infamous center for the gay and lesbian sub-culture. We would urge all our readers to get and read the book entitled When the Wicked Seize the City, by Rev. McIlhenny and his wife Donna.
YOU SET HIM STRAIGHT.
Nobody is “gay”. Some people choose to engage in homosexual activity. That is a sin. It is also a sin to aid and abet that activity. The preacher condoning, accepting and promoting his son’s sinful choice is himself, a sinner in need of repentance. Until he does repent, he should be removed from his position immediately.
I would probably tell my son...what he does with his body I stopped having concerns of when he became a man. Because where , with who and how he goes about in unrestrained sexual encounters is his decision.
I would NOT address the issue as anything other than a sexual issue....because frankly that’s exactly what it is. All the rest is “fluff” in order to justify what they choose to do so they are not critiqued about it by society...and relieve the guilt they carry.
It’s no different than a teenagers or adults who want to have sex outside of the clear perameters God has designed to protect them.....there are natural consequences for behavior if they choose to induldge those behaviors.
It gets more damaging for families when an individual wants to bring home or include their gay friends with the family. I would say no at that point, even if it might mean my son would not attend...again his choice and one I would not enable further behavior of.
I think that the Church needs to take a stand on this but many are unwilling to do so for the popular false belief this is acceptable behavior.....(it is NOT a lifestyle..it’s a behavior), and would loose membership or create splits in the church as it is obviously already doing.
Why wouldn't dad say: "It's a grave sin, son, so snap out of it"?
to read later
My older brother was gay. I don’t believe our parents ever knew it but us kids certainly did. After we graduated from college there was hardly any communication between us. He was probably responsible for a dysfunctional family life. I really didn’t ever hear to much about him until his death. My wife and I had to act as power of attorney. He left all his debts behind him which was quite huge, while his lover was willed all his insurance money. We had to deal with a lot of angry debt holders which were mostly banks. We had to try to straighten out his records for the IRA. From our experience a gay member in a household can make family life miserable. This is what gay activist don’t talk about.
I will find out who molested him or her when they were young.
Look at the bright side. You probably won't have any gay grandchildren.
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” — Joshua 24:15
What if your child is a thief or murderer or serial adulterer?
Wrong is wrong.
I’ll bet the kid goes to a public indoctrination center. The PICs try to turn kids gay these days by feeding it to them every day from preschool on.
“Being gay” isn’t a sin for two reasons.
1. There is no such thing (gay).
2. It is the sex “act” itself that is the sin.
They are just giving in to their evil desires (with someone of the same sex).
What if my kid was gay? Impossible. It’s a choice to commit sin. Just like a shoplifter may have a proclivity toward stealing, he has to resist. Just because you are sexually drawn toward the same sex, doesn’t mean you have to act on it. We all have to resist temptation. Having a temptation does not make you gay.
The whole gay agenda (now expanded to LGBT, what’s next?) has ALWAYS been about making society accept homosexuality as “normal”. IT ISN’T!
Like the drug user wants his drugs and the drunk wants his booze, and the car queer (that’s tech talk from the car business), wants that next car, homosexuals (especially men) want that forbidden SEX. They all “covet” and give in to the sin. They WANT TO.
It’s hard to be righteous! Impossible without God.
Having a child who is gay leaves the parents with a tough choice. Would you prefer that your child follow God’s Word or that he have lots of fun in bath houses? I know which decision I would make, and I consider it the loving decision, but many Christians have trouble standing up to pressure from those who deny God.
Most of the time these ideas are PLACED into the child's head, and the child does not come by them naturally. There is a JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) article which asserts that 40% of Homosexuals admit having been molested as children.
Homosexuality propagates by recruitment, and if he didn't get the idea from Television or School (where claiming to be homosexual has become somewhat of a fad) then I would look very carefully at any male adults he is acquainted with.
So a 15 year old kid came out as gay, huh?
Sigh. My kid’s high school is crawling with attention starved boys who wear tight jeans and speak with a lisp. They aren’t gay...they are so attention starved, they put on a gay facade.
This bevaviour should not be indulged. The problem is, it is very difficult for a teenager to be ‘told what to do’ by parents. And, we have relied on ‘community shame’ to keep teenagers in line. For example, a kid may want to defy his parents...but would be mortified if a teacher, preacher, boy scoutleader saw him misbehave. This concept has worked well....until now, since preachers, teachers, and scout leaders have been PC neutered into ‘accepting’ gay behaviour - and actually give positive reinforcement.
Then he or she would be a sinner.
What if your child is a drunkard?
What if your child is a fornicator?
What if your child is a sinner?