Yes, non-churchgoing Catholics should be included in those who supported Obama if the same criteria is being used for other people too. And Catholics themselves don’t focus primarily on one’s personal relationship to Jesus to decide if one is Catholic or not. Being a Catholic begins with baptism, usually as an infant, and also has far more to do with family identification and culture for that reason. For over 40 years I lived in a city that’s 77% Catholic (Buffalo, NY), and I can vouch that “lapsed Catholics” tended to consider themselves Catholic, unless they altogether left Catholicism for another belief, including atheism, and despite not “practicing,” at different times in their lives where religion was appropriate (like marriage, “First Communion,” confirmation for teens, and funerals), they turned to the Catholic Church. They also had a Catholic understanding of Christianity, which they tended to bring to life (Buffalo, a highly liberal Democratic place, was and is post-Christian and largely antagonistic to anything more than a moderate amount of faith - anything more is commonly seen as zealotry). And, too, “lapsed Catholics” tend to remain tied to the Catholic Church if they don’t embrace another belief through their family ties. Overall, there is an undeniable connection between heavily Catholic (or Catholic heritage, if you will) areas and voting Democrat, just as there is between heavily evangelical areas and voting Republican.
It’s true that non-church going Catholics voted for Obama but this is precisely why it shouldn’t be said that “Catholics voted for Obama” because this implies that true, real Catholics (the ones who obey all church teaching) also voted for him.
However as you correctly pointed out, so many who really aren’t Catholic consider themselves so, and these did indeed vote for him as well as anything “Democrat” really. Sadly the need for social justice has supplanted all other church teaching in the minds of such people. Many are also big union types.
It’s so difficult to actually demonstrate this division that I’ve given up fighting when people say “Catholics voted for Obama” because ultimately, to a non-Catholic, who’s to say they are wrong? A Catholic like me? It comes across as self-serving, ultimately, to those who are not willing to believe there can be people who claim to be Catholic to their last dying breath. But in reality are not.
Just know though, that to true Catholics the claim and the reality behind it are equally abhorrent.