Most Catholic priests have absolutely no musical education or ability at all. The younger ones, the John Paul II/ Benedict generation, are better, but not by much.
They have to learn it on their own because the seminaries teach absolutely nothing about the great Catholic music heritage. So most of them don't.
In contrast, the Episcopalians may be heretics, but at least the seminaries teach them about their music (most of which they stole from us. But, we weren't using it . . . ) So their music is excellent even though their theology is completely loony.
When a musically ignorant priest interferes in the music, it's worse than useless. You wind up with happy-clappy garbage like "Here I Am, Lord" (a/k/a "Here's your pizza") or the execrable maunderings of the likes of Bernadette Farrell or the St. Louie Jebbies. 1500 years of Palestrina, Tallis, Byrd, St. Gregory the Great, Josquin . . . and they all seem to be stuck in the 70s and 80s (a musical low point if ever there was one.)
A priest's job (unless he has a music degree like Msgr. Pope in the Archdiocese of D.C.) is to hire a good music director with appropriate credentials and a firm grasp of real Catholic music . . . then stand back and let the big dog run.
I view this from the Episcopal side of the equation, but either way, I can’t find a single word of yours to disagree with.
And a good portion of these music directors are exactly like this one, and live with their "good friends". Not all but a good portion.