I won't address praying to or asking questions or favors from a tomb, since a tomb is an inanimate object and I suspect a person who did that might possibly be hallucinating. But in the full and formal sense, we should dedicate our lives to God only. Other secondary dedications can "fit in" under that, but none can replace our primary dedication, which is to God.
Get it?
But why even have a "secondary" or third or fourth, dedication to someone other than God?
It totally confuses the issue.
"When we get on our knees and pray to mary and dedicate our lives to mary and ask mary to give us salvation and grace, is it still veneration to mary?"
"When we get on our knees and pray to zeus and dedicate our lives to zeus and ask zeus to give us salvation and grace, is it still veneration to zeus?"
Now, instead of Zeus, substitute Satan.....see the difference. Would you say if someone were doing this they were venerating or worshipping Satan?
"When we get on our knees and pray to Jesus and dedicate our lives to Jesus and ask Jesus to give us salvation and grace, is it still veneration to Jesus?"
See the difference it makes when you change the name?
Get it?
I get what you say but I also get that that's not what I see with many Catholics...