Posted on 03/30/2002 7:53:37 PM PST by malakhi
Becky
The Latest Church Bulletin Errors
These are actual clippings from church newspapers.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at
Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha
Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING
Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer
conference includes meals."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again", giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husbands."
Next Sunday is the family hayride & bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring
your own hot dogs & guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun
time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due
to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight, "Searching for Jesus."
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who
doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes,
green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person(s) you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy
lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday morning.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday. Please use the
back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Sure, feeling charitable to day? :)
As I see it, even when they say they are only asking for her prayers, they are still "praying to" her, because how else would they convey the request to her?
Uh OH!
Now, whether or not such "prayer" is permissible depends on one's understanding of scripture and of what happens to us after death. I do understand the Catholic perspective, and why they believe it is okay. But on this, I side with the NC/IFBB crew in believing that prayer to anyone but God is not permitted.
I see you haven't read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" lately. :)
BigMack
The pic is proof that you're the "real" Nate and not some lurker who just wanted to use your good reputation here. :)
Love.
Excuse me, Did God love the Jews when he scattered them from Israel and destroyed the temple? A yes or no answer is sufficient.
Did Jesus love the money changers when he turned over their tables and destroyed their commerce? Again, a yes or no will do.
Did Jesus Love Peter when he said to him "Get thee behind me, Satan"? A yes/no question again.
Love isn't an outward thing that is Always showing. It is an inward thing. Something I shouldn't have to say; but, every once in a while, someone comes along and implies that because they sound more flowery, they love more. That's why the Devil sweat talks so many into hell, right? Because he Loves them...
Got my new T1 internet connection at work. Pages load almost instantaneously (I've seen it up to 67Kbs, or about five times faster than our old ISDN, and 12-14 times faster than dialup). Its a beautiful day! :o)
Uh Oh! I'm coveting, I'm coveting..... help?
Is that cable or DSL and whats the cost?
BigMack
Becky
BigMack
He's my little miracle!
Presumably.....your wife helped a little? :)
Yes.
Did Jesus love the money changers when he turned over their tables and destroyed their commerce?
Yes.
Did Jesus Love Peter when he said to him "Get thee behind me, Satan"?
Yes.
The post of yours that I challenged was one where you stated that no one had responded to your critiques because they had no answers for you. IMO, it dripped with pride - "look at me, victorious on the field of debate." If you want to equate this with the examples above, so be it.
Becky
T1 lines come right from the phone company. They are neither DSL or Cable.
and whats the cost?
You don't want to know.
My understanding is also that the fig tree is Israel.
The blossoming is the re-gathering in the land and the
capture of G-d' Holy city: Jerusalem. Now all we need
is for the dry bones to reanimate through the acceptance
of Y'shua as the Messiah
Barukh haba b'Shem Adonai
Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord
chuck <truth@Y'shuaHaMashiach>
ROFLOL!!!!!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.