Replies

Can a never-married man be a pastor? Single widower? (me: yes)

Yes.

A woman? (no)

I believe that there is a Scriptural case than a woman can not be a Senior Pastor. I do not have a problem however with women preachers as I see very little difference between a preacher and a prophetess and Philip's daughters and Huldah were prophetesses.

Is a divorced man single? (me: not if the marriage was valid, because a valid marriage ends only when one spouse dies)
Yes. Whatsoever is bound on earth is bound in heaven. Whatsoever is loosed on earth is loosed in heaven. Same word loosed is found in 1 Corinthians 7, are you bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed. Are you loosed (valid translation of this in greek is divorced) from a wife? Seek not a wife. But and if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marry, she has not sinned.

Can a divorced man remarry? (me: no, same answer as above)
Yes. Moses allowed it (Moses would not make an allowance for sin. Jesus assumed remarriage would occur. Paul spelled out cases where it is permissable. And in light of God's grace, I do not believe God will cause us to perpetually pay for sins that Jesus already paid for on the cross. With this said, I believe any 2nd marriage needs to be entered into with the utmost of care. If one is the guilty party in the other marriage, true repentance should have occurred and a change of heart.)

Reminder: Catholic annulmments are formal declarations that what looked like a marriage (a civil marriage is often not a valid biblical marriage) was never a valid biblical marriage (i.e. a porno addict who seemingly "marries" and whose addiction prevented him from ever having an ordered view of marital conjugal relations cannot consent to that which he does not understand (biblical matrimony) or alternatively his civil wife is not biblically bound to a civil husband who clearly never intended to keep his matrimonial vows).

I think this is where you and I will disagree because as a protestant, we do not see marriage as a sacrament that pertains to salvation. I do believe that the church can release people from marriage, but a state divorce is still a divorce. While God hates divorce, the divorce in and of itself is not a sin otherwise Moses would not have allowed it, Ezra would not have commanded it in the case of foreign wives, and Jesus and Paul would not have made acceptions to it. The sin is in what leads up to the divorce. I believe that the spirit of the law is what rules rather than a legalistic letter of the law and I believe the spirit of the law is that if the marital union is so irretrievably broken that it can not be fixed (i.e., due to something as serious as marital unfaithfulness, abandonment, a spouse who puts another spouses life in danger, etc.,) then divorce is permissible. However, I also believe that if you have divorced for a less valid reason (I just didn't love him any more, or she burnt my food to use the ancient Hebrew reason) there is still forgiveness and restoration for the offending party as well as the offended. When God forgives us He casts our sins as far as the East is from the West. He does not remember them any more. To place a lifetime sentence of having to pay for past sin on the head of a Christian whom God has forgiven goes against God's grace.

In the Old Testament, the only commandment regarding divorce and remarriage was found where Moses told men who divorced their wives to give them a bill of divorcement (basically so she could remarry and wouldn't have to resort to prostitution to support herself as women in that society had to do due to the view of women without spouses). If the man she is remarried to dies or divorces her, Moses said that the first spouse was not to remarry her for it would be an abomination.

Jesus's comments need to be taken in the context they were said. The Jews at the time were split between those who believed in divorce for serious causes only such as adultery, and those who believed that one could divorce their wife for any old reason at all. Jesus sided with the first people. Paul didn't like remarriage because he thought it was better that one remain single. He reflected in Romans and 1 Corinthians the seriousness of the marriage relationship. Yet, because we live in a fallen world, humans do not always make the right choices (even in who to date), so if for example an unbelieving spouse leaves, Paul said let them leave. The brother or sister is not under bondage in such areas.

Please do not misunderstand me. I believe marriage is sacred and should be entered into for life. I do not see, however, an absolute commandment in Scripture where "Thou shalt not divorce" and in fact see places where it was commanded. God Himself used the analogy that he was divorcing Israel because she was an unfaithful spouse. What the church should do rather than beat up on those who have been divorced and enforcing rules on people that the Bible does not assume, is teach their people from the cradle the seriousness of marriage, the seriousness of choosing the right mate in the Lord, and the seriousness of being a faithful spouse. God hates divorce. It is ugly. It is painful. It is usually bathed in the sin of one or both partners. But God does not hate divorced people and does not make this one area the one sin for which payment still must be made by sinners. God is a God of forgiveness and restoration. He justifies us through the blood of His Son and calls us to peace. It is still not good for man to be alone, even if he has been divorced, and it is better to marry than to burn in lust for one another. Just be extremely cautious when you do, and do not enter into any union with the idea that if it doesn't go well you can always divorce. Divorce for trivialities is sin. We should marry for life.

Brilliant post, many thanks. I've been wrestling with this issue for years, and whenever I seriously ask the Lord for guidence, I keep banging into the legalism of "no divorce, except desertion or adultary. Period."

But how is it that God is so legalistic, if a situation is so despairing that it's literally killing one of the parties? (Stress-induced illness)

Wish I knew where to find it, but about a year ago, I read that the divorce statistics for atheists were almost identical to that of evangelical Christians, which leads to the inevitable "WHY?"

The only logical thing I could come up with is that if, within the marraige, divorce is considered forbidden, the fallen nature of one or both spouses feels a much greater freedom to be a complete jacka**. "Look at all I can get away with! She can't divorce me, it's not allowed!"

If the couple is atheist though, with no "rules," and no God to be accountable to, a certain fear must exist, that automatic forgiveness by the other party cannot be assumed. Perhaps, therefore, they treat each other better to begin with, always with "that little fear" in the background, that is not present within a Christian marriage.

So if this is the case, a little fear is a good thing. Unfortunately, many legalistic Christians lack that "little fear."