I appreciate the softer tone, too.
Christ told one thief in Matthew 23:43 "And Jesus said to him: Amen I say to thee, this day thou shalt be with me in paradise." Yet in John 20:17 Christ tells Mary Magdalene after the Resurrection "Jesus saith to her: Do not touch me for I am not yet ascended to my Father. But go to my brethren, and say to them: I ascend to my Father and to your Father, to my God and your God." So if He had not yet ascended to the Father, where was paradise?
We know that the Old Testament was written in Hebrew and the New Testament was written in Greek. In the Old Testament the word Sheol refers to the underworld where the dead dwelt in darkness, but Sheol is not hell. In the New Testament the word Hades refers to the underworld, but Hades is not hell. Hades is distinct from Gehenna, which is the abode of condemned souls, the lake of fire, hell. The Apocalypse teaches that in the end, death and hades are thrown into hell(gehenna). Purgatory exists between the particular and general judgments.
While it is true that the word purgatory does not exist in Scripture, neither do the words Trinity, Incarnation or Bible. Are those doctrines rejected as well? Orthodox Jews recite a prayer known as the Mourner's Kaddish for 11 months following the death of a loved one for purification and did so in the Old Testament. Purgatory doesn't square with the subjective invention known as Sola Fide and that's why the reformers rejected the Latin purgatorium and Machabees.