That said, I'm sure I'm not competent to answer this question as fully as you might like, but I would go out on a limb and say that each individual works out there salvation with Jesus, not the RCC.
My understanding of the core RCC position on the sacraments is that they are a gift of the Holy Spirit, not a litmus test for salvation. The sacraments are certainly not "helping" God, though they do help us. We are called to work with God, but I don't think of it as a partnership. The best analogies are probably from Lord and serf, rather than modern business practice.
I am most disappointed in the acrimony of the debates, but I can see some of the differences are wide. The more I learn of Catholicism the more I see that it is a hard faith that asks a lot of a catechist or practitioner. It is not for the unlearned which is why so many of our children fall away -- and why so many scholars of Protestant faiths return.
It is also foreign to America's current mindset. It is something out of antiquity.
I hope that if RCs have hurt you, that you accept healing in my suffering and sorrow.
Thank you, that is a very Christian attitude.