I was a single mother for a long time and I empathize with you. It's a tough job, but also very rewarding.

Every child learns at a different rate, and although it's been a long time since my girls were in grade school, I remember them having homework that took the better part of an evening to finish. The frustration for both of you is not good, though. If you are interested, I can give you the contact info for the homeschool program we use. It's very good and not terribly expensive (you can pay monthly).

I will keep you in my prayers...take heart! You have given your son the very best already by loving him and caring for him!

You show you are a good dad by fighting for and getting custody of your son.

Prayer and seeking God's counsel is the best thing you can do for your son and for yourself. It works. And, I know the freepers here will have great ideas for you too.

If it makes you feel any better, I hear that tons of parents struggle with homework. Have you considered homeschooling? There are single parents out there doing it. God Bless your efforts.
~Boxsford

If he does not understand the homework it means he has not learned whatever that day's lesson was in school. Set up a dialogue between yourself and the boy's teacher, so you know precisely what is going on in class. Speak at least once a week. Don't assume that no news is good news. I know some of my kid's teachers roll their eyes when they see my wife or me coming but my kids manage to stay at the top of their class.

While it's still early in the year, see if you can get an appointment with your son's teacher to discuss this. A good teacher will recognize your concern and help.

Can you help?

That was my first thought. I will go see him this morning and try to resolve it that way. I know that he will say I see many kids and if they dont tell me when we are learning it that they do not undertsand I cant etc,etc, etc.

So I stressed to my son the importance of asking the teacher questions when you dont get it.

.On a side note my son went to a bday party this weekend with 13 other kids,lots of moms. He spoke up before lunch and led kids in prayer without being asked to. All the other moms made a few comments about how well behaved he was.I was real proud. I am making a large influence in his life.

On another side note, I took time off from work to make sure things went right the first two days. We rode our bikes and he will do this by himself from here on out.

After the bell rang and kids were in school I slowly started to leave. I was astonished at the vast amount of parents leading their kids to school ten minutes late on the first day. They were streaming in and I actually had to wait for a minute to get my bike out the gate.

Nothing like setting a fine example.

First of all, as a woman who has been a single working mother, it ain't easy, that I know. Kids do not come with a manual, no tech support, etc.

Do not try to be or worry about being perfect. We are human beings. You clearly love this boy, he is in your custody, you are his daily 24/7 caregiver. You are there for him, you are his Daddy every day. That counts a lot.

As far as homework at his age, (I have 3 grown kids of my own and two grown step-daughters I helped raise, so take it for what it's worth)

Occasionally, a teacher will not make sure every kid gets it. Sometimes by not getting one thing, the child ends up not getting a lot more and starts to struggle with homework and school in general.

Meet with his teacher and see what she has to say first. Then, see how you feel about her and what she had to say, they aren't always right you know. Then you will hace a clearer picture of the problem and can make plans to handle it correctly.

When homework time rolls around, try not to make it an ordeal for both of you. Approach it from a " I know we can do this so let's knock it off and have some fun afterward." position. Once homework starts to become an ordeal it just gets worse.

And last of all, God Bless you and your son. You are doing a good thing winodog.

Resist, I repeat, RESIST, correcting his every mistake. You don't learn by having someone over your shoulder. Praise accomplishments. Be a helper, not a correcter. Don't correct problems immediately. Allow him to make the mistake and then ask him when he is done to find them on his own. Resist, I repeat RESIST blurting out the mistake immediately. That is so demoralizing.

Last night I helped my daughter with her math homework. I sat across from her and she said the problem, 5 minus 4. I held up 5 fingers then I closed 4 fingers. How many fingers are left? She put down 1. We did that for the whole worksheet.

You'll do fine if you practice patience.

I was (am) a single dad who raised his son through school and college.

One of the keys is patience - pure, absolute patience with your son...and I realize first hand that always having patience is extremely difficult!

However, if your son learns from experience that he can approach you about ANY problem and you will NEVER get angry (disappointed at times, but never angry), he will be much more apt to share with you what his problems are and you both can deal with them TOGETHER.

Keep in mind the long term....when your son is a teenager he's going to constantly need a parent to turn to and if he's comfortable turning to you, he'll make it through those years just fine.

And so will you!

Congrats for getting custody.   I wish more dads had the love and courage to take on such a challenge.   Some day as an adult your son will turn to you and say, "Thanks, Dad."   At that moment, your tears will flush away all your current frustrations.

Good luck and God Bless!

This is early days and the teachers are trying to see what the kids know.....also, the whole start of school is very stressful and the kids certainly aren't settled down ready for a strict regimen. Good advice to speak to his teacher but really, wait a week or so to see how things shake out. You deserve a big hug for your concern. WAY TO GO!!!!!

Dude, been doing the single dad thing for 3 boys for about 5 years now. It can really be rough some days, so dont be too hard on yourself. My house is decorated in early dorm style. Make friends who can help you out with things you dont know. Find a good babysitter. As far as homework specifically, I dont know how old your child is, but insist that it be done before anything else. 2 things I try to be consitent on- kick ass grades and respect(includes lying, getting mouthy, etc) If you don't have a sense of humor, get one quick. Make sure that your boss understands your home situation, so its a little easier to get appts, etc. Dont forget about you. It's easy to want to be a warrior, but you will get frustrated and less effective as a parent if you dont get a break.

Jigsaw, those are beautiful and truthful sentiments.

And you sir, as a woman and mother, I salute you!

I have found that what has helped be more calm around my son is remembering myself as a child. Put a mental picture of yourself right over the image of your son. Remember what it was like? I find a great deal of sympathy and understanding for my child when I realize I was the same way. Being an adult is hard enough.. being a child is way more confusing.

What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger! I am proud of you.. you can do this. On the school front... remember that your child has been through a great deal, and if you got custody there must be a good reason to take the child from the home he knew and transplant him somewhere else. It may take many years of love and understanding to undo his insecurity. There are some great parenting books out there. Freep mail me if you would like me to provide a list that I have found helpful. Good luck!

Dam you won? His mother must have been a real nutjob for him to be given to you.

...I was astonished at the vast amount of parents leading their kids to school ten minutes late on the first day.

Sounds like you really have your son's best interest at heart.

Concerning the above statement: These (some) parents probably had children at other campuses and in order to escort both or all of them on their first day, takes more time than you have between when the doors unlock and the bell rings. I bet all become better examples once the routine is set.

Thanks.   As you can guess, my son had a lot of patience with me and taught me a lot too.

Now, if you'll forgive me, grammymoon, "Good Night, Moon."

(Sorry, I just had to write that!  It's the best book in the world!  ...and the only one I ever read cover-to-cover.)

Good job! Hey, with my son (and boys ARE different in schooling) I sometimes have to talk him through his day. Then he "recalls" that MAYBE they did go over it. From there we have the "I can do this" talk. Mistakes are what he will learn from but it is nice to know if they truly are covering the material. Make your self obviously concerned to the teacher and watch the difference in attention to your child. It is amazing. Good luck.