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Things That Just Make You Go Crazy ... (Thread II)
9/08/01
Posted on 09/10/2001 8:21:50 AM PDT by SAMWolf
- You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
- The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
- The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
- There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
- You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
- The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
- There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
- You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
- Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
- You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
- Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.
- A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
- There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
- You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
- The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
- A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
- You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
- The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
- You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
- People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
- Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
- You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
- You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.
- You had that ______(insert item here) in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
- You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Your Opinion/Questions
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1
posted on
09/10/2001 8:21:50 AM PDT
by
SAMWolf
To: SAMWolf
Your wife's family comes and hangs around all summer. They are all lib/commies, but you aren't allowed to even reply to their outrageous crap because you'd be "inconsiderate". Meanwhile they run around screaming about budget busting tax cuts, SUV's(which you can only dream of owning),non-vegetarians, conservatives and Algore being cheated. They fill your kitchen with garbage (on your dime)your dogs won't even sniff, wonder why you never seem to have an appetite and pester your wife about how you drink too much. They have CNN on all the time except to switch over to Dan Blather. Meanwhile, they tell you you've been unemployed for four months(all summer) because of Bush stealing the election and openly wish Clinton could be president again.
And some people wonder why I'm crazy.
To: SAMWolf
Ah, thank you very kindly :)
Another one for me is people, likely good-minded, who use "u" and "r" as entire words in Internet conversation. :)
3
posted on
09/10/2001 8:39:27 AM PDT
by
Twins613
To: Twins613
y does that bother u?
To: SAMWolf
When people initial everything they type on the internet even when it's obvious who its from. ET
To: SAMWolf
People having conversations in doorways so that you can't get around them. So you have to go between them and they give you a look for interrupting them.
6
posted on
09/10/2001 8:52:26 AM PDT
by
techcor
To: techcor
People who drive with their turn signals on and then never turn or turn in the opposite direction.
7
posted on
09/10/2001 8:57:31 AM PDT
by
SAMWolf
To: SAMWolf
Taking the long "hehehe, bet you can't take me off" sticky tapes on the edges of your new DVD movie casing.
Some companies have taped three sides with that stuff!
8
posted on
09/10/2001 8:59:44 AM PDT
by
PatiPie
To: SAMWolf
I'm running late, hop into the car, and discover that DH has been driving my car and left me with an empty gas tank. . .
15 sq ft rolls of wrapping paper for $4 and birthday cards for $3 - yikes!!
To: SAMWolf
Drivers who do not understand the proper manner to
#1 - Proceed from a 4-way stop. Most simply barge through when they get a chance or keep inching until there's a gap and drive through. (The correct method is to note the order of vehicles at each of the 4 sides. Each driver takes his turn based upon who entered into the 4-way stop first.)
#2 - Drive on a 3-lane (or more) freeway. Too many cruise along mindlessly with a lead foot on either the outermost or innermost lane. (The correct method is to cruise the middle lane(s). The inner lane is for passing and the outer is for cars entering or exiting the freeway only.)
Thanks, I feel better now.
10
posted on
09/10/2001 10:01:05 AM PDT
by
PLK
To: LadyX,Snow Bunny,COB1,Scuttlebutt,michigander,CHIEF negotiator,Billie
People who ask me how tall I am and then get upset
when I answer, "Five seventeen and three quarters."
People who ask what I paid for my boat.
People who take two parking spaces.
(setting fire to their vehicle should be allowed.)
People who stick a screwdriver in their eye and sue the toolmaker.
Lawyers who represent the above.
Lawyers.
11
posted on
09/10/2001 10:27:12 AM PDT
by
ofMagog
To: SAMWolf
People who drive with their turn signals on and then never turn or turn in the opposite direction. I notice a lot of this behavior from the Volvo Crowd, which explains why they drive one. People who own Volvos have already been in several moving accidents, and they know fully that they will be in another one, due to their lack of driving skills. They just want the safest car they can get, for the next accident is inevitable.
I always watch them carefully when I see one on the road. Around here their favorite move is the sudden and abrupt U turn, which they perform in the middle of the block, without regard to anyone else on the road with them.
To: ofMagog
People who take two parking spaces. (setting fire to their vehicle should be allowed.)I'll second that one.
13
posted on
09/10/2001 10:32:23 AM PDT
by
SAMWolf
Comment #14 Removed by Moderator
Comment #15 Removed by Moderator
To: the gillman@blacklagoon.com
In reference to your liberal relatives: For your sake, I hope you live south of the Mason-Dixon. Remember, down here 'They needed killing' is a legitimate defense.
16
posted on
09/10/2001 10:52:26 AM PDT
by
LTCJ
To: ofMagog,CHIEF negotiator, COB1, Snow Bunny,swheats,Fred Mertz,michigander,Carolinamom, Arthur !!
""Five seventeen and three quarters." S'pose that makes me four sixteen and one-half, then - - but I can still touch my toes!!
Does that make things all right?
Do the wimmin on the crew have to be at least a yard in measurement for their top to qualify to fly on the 'yard' arm?..:))
Enquiring minds want to know...
17
posted on
09/10/2001 11:36:01 AM PDT
by
LadyX
To: SAMWolf
"Public Service Announcements" about
anything on the radio.
Every time I hear that Mr./Miss Rogers-type voice condescendingly lecturing about whatever, it makes me want to go out and commit crimes against humanity just to tick them off.
To: LadyX
" Do the wimmin on the crew have to be at least a yard in measurement for their top to qualify to fly on the 'yard' arm?..:))" Those darn nautical terms can be confusing. I always get "yard arm" and "short arm" mixed up. Is it time for inspection?
To: Madame Dufarge
Those salt and pepper packets that you find in fast food joints.
There's enough salt in the salt packets to turn the Great Lakes into the Dead Sea
and not enough pepper in the pepper packs to make a gnat sneeze.
20
posted on
09/10/2001 11:52:21 AM PDT
by
SAMWolf
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