Posted on 10/05/2001 10:02:01 AM PDT by Sen Jack S. Fogbound
PLAN NUMBER ONE:
An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought Islamic terrorist attacks by burying criminals with a pig.
Apparently the Islamic belief is that if ones' body is buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true.
This got me thinking.
If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell. Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan assault efforts may be more successful.
Apparently Muslims dislikes the very sight of pigs A LOT! They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousands gallons of scotch, get them shit-faced and turn the pigs loose.
The war would be over in a weekend.
Just a thought.
PLAN NUMBER TWO
The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the hard line Islamic people cannot stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, tonight at 7:00, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists.
The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you. God Bless America. :-)
In addition to dropping off the hostile pigs, we should be bombing them with other pigs. This would make sure just to walk around they would be going to hell.
Mrs VS
Unfortunately it didn't occur to the terrorists that there would undoubtedly be a few ham sandwiches in the WTC, ensuring their entombment with pig flesh.
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