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A (Basically) True Halloween Horror Story (from Ithaca)
Ithaca ISIS ^ | 10/25/01 | by Hank Hill

Posted on 10/25/2001 7:37:36 AM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines

A few years ago, my wife and step-kids made our annual vacation trip to Massachusetts.

One stop on our itinerary was Salem, famous for the witch trials, in which a group of narrow-minded, yet pious, citizens set up to eradicate a group of people they considered a threat to their supposedly "enlightened" way of life.

Seemed oddly familiar. But I digress.

While touring Salem we happened upon a museum run by self-proclaimed "real" witches. These witches were practitioners of "wicca," that ancient, yet seemingly new age religion that served as the basis for the witch legend.

My youngest step-daughter (we'll call her "Luanne"), nine years old at the time, was fascinated by the witches and the museum. She even bought a souvenir from the witches' store: official "Witch's Brew" brand root beer, bottled for the witches. The root beer's label sported a caricature of a witch with a hook nose, stringy hair and a long, black, pointed hat, similar to "Broom Hilda" from the comic strips.

So, what does this have to do with Ithaca? I'll tell you what.

Two months later, Halloween rolls around. My wife and I asked Luanne what she wanted to be for Halloween. Luanne replied that she wanted to be a witch.

Dutiful mother that she is, my wife proceeds to make Luanne a witch costume. It was pretty much what you would expect a nine year old's witch costume to look like. It was a lot like the witch on the root beer label: all black, long pointed hat, broom, etc.

Luanne didn't opt for a hooked nose, however. By nine she was already a budding glamour girl and wanted to be a wicked, yet pretty, witch.

Either way, Luanne loved the costume and my wife basked in that maternal glow certain women get when they combine artistic endeavors with old fashioned domestic skills.

Everything was great. Happy kid. Satisfied wife. What could go wrong?

I forgot about Ithaca.

A few days before Halloween, I got a call at work from my wife. She was frantic and slightly furious.

"Luanne came home from school today and announced she can't wear her Halloween costume -it's discrimination against real witches."

"Excuse me?" I thought the cell phone had a bad connection.

"The school's 'diversity coordinator' came around and asked all the kids not to wear costumes that might hurt or offend: no hobos, no soldiers, no witches."

"Are you telling me that they are telling Luanne her costume might offend actual witches?"

"I know, it's stupid," my wife replied. "But they say that Wicca is a real religion, so it's not an appropriate Halloween costume. It would be like dressing up as a Jew or the Pope."

"Wait a minute," I said. "If dressing up like something is MOCKING it, why not dress up as a Nazi or a KKK member and mock bigotry? But if she did THAT they'd say she was PROMOTING bigotry. Sheesh...this is the most screwed up city in America."

My wife, normally the "Ithaca booster" in our family, had to agree. "But what can we do?"

Images from the "Calvin" comic strip where he fantasized about fire-bombing his elementary school in an F-14 Tomcat flashed in my mind. But I didn't tell my wife that. Instead I asked her what she said to Luanne.

"Well, I told that it was up to her. I view her costume as a literary character: the witch from 'The Wizard of Oz,' and not as a representation of a real person."

"What did Luanne think," I asked.

"She agreed."

That night, I found out Luanne had a plan. She was going to go to school and tell the "diversity coordinator" (your tax dollars at work) that she had met real witches and this is how they really dressed. She was also going to bring in her root beer bottle to school, to show that real witches used the "wicked witch" image themselves at their store.

Halloween came and she wore her costume. She was the prettiest little witch you ever saw.

More important, she learned how to stand up to the politically correct.

I reckon you can learn something worthwhile from Ithaca public schools after all.


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Ithaca is the City of Evil
1 posted on 10/25/2001 7:37:36 AM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
ITHACA DELENDA EST
Ithaca must be destroyed
2 posted on 10/25/2001 7:46:20 AM PDT by BlueLancer
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
Loved this post.

More of us could take your daughter's example to heart. But sometimes its hard to stand up to the PC Police. Thanks for the post.

3 posted on 10/25/2001 7:50:59 AM PDT by softengine
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To: Captain Freedom
Ithaca is the city of evil. (TM)
4 posted on 10/25/2001 7:51:27 AM PDT by Benson_Carter
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
You couldn't put this in a novel, because no editor would find it plausible enough to pass a prospective reader's giggle reflex.
5 posted on 10/25/2001 8:00:45 AM PDT by NativeNewYorker
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
She was going to go to school and tell the "diversity coordinator" (your tax dollars at work) that she had met real witches and this is how they really dressed. She was also going to bring in her root beer bottle to school, to show that real witches used the "wicked witch" image themselves at their store.
"Diversity coordinator" what a wonderful way to take up space in a crowded school system. As for real witches using "Wicked Witch" images, I find this hard to believe. We spent last Halloween in Salem. Most practitioners of Wicca are peace-loving people who try to reinforce the fact that they practice only "white magic." Although the shops cater to tourists and do sell the usual fare of Halloween items, most Wiccans distance themselves from those things.
6 posted on 10/25/2001 8:09:31 AM PDT by stanz
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To: stanz
They might be "peace-loving people" but when the time comes for Satan to require their services they will unknowingly, and gladly do his bidding.
7 posted on 10/25/2001 8:17:12 AM PDT by Russ
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
Interesting post. Perhaps you will not see a problem with this---but, your daughter could very well become even more interested in this witches cult and actually strive to become one herself. Maybe you are open and ready for that or not. I know it all looks and seems so harmless now.
8 posted on 10/25/2001 8:17:14 AM PDT by Boxsford
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To: stanz
The so-called "Wiccans" in Salem are loony, plain and simple. Everywhere in Salem, there is historical evidence that the people who were executed as witches went to their deaths protesting their Christianity, and invoking the name of Jesus. Today's "Wiccans" have hijacked this tourist attraction and consistently maintain that the historic Christian martyrs to hysteria were Wiccans, when they were just the opposite.

Go to Salem and see for yourself. It's creepy. On holiday weekends, the Wiccan types parade around. They're inevitably dressed in black, bedecked with silver, looking none too clean -- and virtually all seriously overweight.

9 posted on 10/25/2001 8:20:55 AM PDT by MoralSense
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To: Boxsford
Perhaps you will not see a problem with this---but, your daughter could very well become even more interested in this witches cult and actually strive to become one herself.

Reality Crack. If we all manifested into what we've dressed up as for Halloween, it would be a pretty colorful place. I know a few clowns at work (out of dress) - does that qualify for this train of thinking? Sounds like this little girl is more rooted in reality to buck the system with truth and logic than some of the posters on here.

10 posted on 10/25/2001 8:44:13 AM PDT by Dasaji
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To: Russ
...but when the time comes for Satan to require their services they will unknowingly, and gladly do his bidding.

Are there not a few "reverends" doing that already????

11 posted on 10/25/2001 8:46:10 AM PDT by Dasaji
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To: Dasaji
BUMP
12 posted on 10/25/2001 8:48:57 AM PDT by Aurelius
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To: Russ; MoralSense
They might be "peace-loving people" but when the time comes for Satan to require their services they will unknowingly, and gladly do his bidding.
Whoops, there goes the giggle reflex again.
Christian martyrs to hysteria
Martyrs to Christian hysteria, surely.
13 posted on 10/25/2001 9:11:30 AM PDT by GCSmith
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To: Russ
They might be "peace-loving people" but when the time comes for Satan to require their services they will unknowingly, and gladly do his bidding.

I think you'd be happier moving in with the Taliban. I hear they have openings in their purity patrols.

14 posted on 10/25/2001 9:13:10 AM PDT by jlogajan
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
These witches were practitioners of "wicca," that ancient, yet seemingly new age religion that served as the basis for the witch legend.

Like all religions, wicca is made up. It is more recent because the originals and their works were killed off by Christians thousands of years ago.

So it is a new made up religion, just like Christianity is an older made up religion.

15 posted on 10/25/2001 9:14:52 AM PDT by jlogajan
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To: Boxsford
And Harry Potter is going to turn and enitre generation of children into practioners of witch craft.

Come back to reality.

16 posted on 10/25/2001 9:23:23 AM PDT by Phantom Lord
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
Has Mr. Hill's home been burned down yet? Surely there are at least protestors marching in front of it.
17 posted on 10/25/2001 9:24:51 AM PDT by Phantom Lord
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To: jlogajan
If it's basically true,then it's just true. Not basically true, but just true. OK?
18 posted on 10/25/2001 9:25:31 AM PDT by tom paine 2
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To: jlogajan
O Boy, your in for it now.
19 posted on 10/25/2001 9:26:01 AM PDT by Phantom Lord
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
Ithaca is the City of Evil

A pretty upstate NY college town in the Finger Lakes region ... home of Cornell University.
Aside from the fact the liberals in town (obviously a majority) voted for "Hildabeast" we shouldn't be so harsh in our judgement of Ithaca. After all at least one "FReeper" lives there ...

20 posted on 10/25/2001 9:31:03 AM PDT by BluH2o
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