Latest Darwin Award Nominee [Orlando Sentinel]

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism.

Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself.

Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining two were asked to leave the course.

Good story, but the person must die to qualify for the Darwin award.

It just goes to show you, if you don't know how to use the equipment properly, you don't deserve to have possession of it.

.....nope.....

.....this one can't breed now.....

the person must die to qualify for the Darwin award

No, he just has to take himself out of the gene pool. I think this fellow qualifies.

Good story, but the person must die to qualify for the Darwin award.

I'm thinking that the guy probably wished he had died; at least during the process of "ball washing".

Not so, if they uniquely remove themselves from the gene pool - i.e. end their procreation career, they can still participate in the Darwin Awards

This guy's odds have to be at least 5:2!

No F-4 Lord, cyberaxe is correct. The point of the Darwin award is to do something so stupid that the act disqualifies you from passing on your genes. Traditionally, that has almost always meant death, but this is the rare example of the person who need not pick up his award posthumously.

Dammit, I really didn't need to read that.

Surely the depths of this mans stupidity are too vast for mortal man to comprehend.

"Good story, but the person must die to qualify for the Darwin award."

Yes, I think that loss of the ability to reproduce his own mentally deficient kind is enough for this award.

If he still speaks to his friend who turned the crank then he gets an oak leaf cluster on his award.

More seriouser, I don't see much difference in this guy and the ones who let others talk them into suicide bombings. Just more damage done to others. Perhaps we should establish a Freepers Hall of Honor for the Darwin Award and put all Islamic suicide dummies names on the wall.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself.

And not that he will have more time to golf; he breaks his $300 driver. What a shame.

Re: "Isn't there an Aggie joke that goes something like that?"

I think it was a "Tea-sipper."

Interesting that you do not have a true link to the Orlando Sentinel story.

Good story, but the person must die to qualify for the Darwin award.

Incorrect. The person must merely remove himself from the gene pool. Sterilization is just as good as death.

That was painful to read.