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Posted on 11/16/2001 1:06:49 PM PST by Osage Orange

This one just about sums it up....

Hog pilot speaks....

(Someone pulled this off the Air Force Academy's {very unofficial} message board. Written by a '96 grad who apparently flies A-10s. What we all are REALLY thinking, but a HOG driver says it.)

"Make no mistake about it... this war is gonna be a Hawgdriver's dream...no more of this sending GPS guided bombs from the ionosphere... I want to camp out on the enemy's border... I want to yell across the border, in the immortal words of Wyatt Earp (as portrayed by Kurt Russell), "You tell 'em I'm coming! AND HELL'S COMING WITH ME!!"

I wanna punch Bin Laden in the face and say, 'You gonna do something? Or just stand there and bleed?' And then, I wanna laugh maniacally, as my 30mm shells decimate his camps. I ain't talking about the Armor Piercing shells this time, although the thought of poisoning their lungs (if, in the unlikely event, they survived my attack) with the dirty dust of spent uranium is quite refreshing... that would make the cloud over New York seem like pure Oxygen.

I want High Explosive Incendiary (HEI) rounds...1150 of them, fired 2 or 3 hundred at a time... like 3 hundred grenades exploding all at once... and that's just my jet... the three coming with me brings that total to 16 cans of CBU-87...that's 3,232 individual submunitions for them...that's what I want.

I want 4 Maverick missiles per jet...that's 16 of those things...and if we run outta trucks and other small things to hit with those missiles, I wanna find out what a maverick will do when it locks onto a terrorist and hits him at just over 1000 feet per second...there might not be enough deceleration to detonate the thing but at that speed... I don't think it would be necessary.

And I want 2 pods of rockets, hanging from my wings. Seven white phosphorous and seven HEI... I want the 'Willie Petes' to put a cloud of smoke, to climb into the sky, to let everyone following know...that's where the gettin' is good...

And the HEI... well, I just want FRAG in the air, tearing apart their greasy, scumbag bodies the same way they tore into our nation... and then we'll start cleaning up with the almighty General Electric GAU-8/A Avenger cannon... what a perfect name... AVENGER CANNON!!! If that's all I had, that's all I'd want... four hawgs, with 4600 of our little friends... lock and load, hammer down!!!!!

But that's just my personal end... here's what else I want...I want John Madden, Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long, to take over CNN, NBC, ABC and every other news network, to provide coverage of this war... I want Madden, with his electronic chalkboard, out there describing what's going on... "You see here, across the top of the screen, that ridge line is exactly where the attack is gonna come from... you'll see the Warthawgs come popping over them and unleash a fury that we haven't seen since Lawrence Taylor was on the prowl...Speaking of that, here they come and BAM!!! These guys are great!... they remind me of linemen... they don't get much press coverage, but when they hit you, man do you know it!"

I want Hank Williams, Jr. and Lee Greenwood belting out, "I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN," as the intro to "Monday Night Air strikes" ... "Fight night" would have a whole new meaning now...

I want to see Sports Center air the "HIT OF THE DAY":..."Today's strike comes from a flight of two A-10 Warthogs. You'll see here that some terrorist got the wild idea that he could shoot at these guys...you can see the missile come up and totally miss the two jets... and here, you see, as they roll in and unleash that awesome gun on the point of origin,...nothing left there now! And that's our "PLAY OF THE DAY!!"

I want Mills Lane, in the field, giving play by play descriptions. I want "Flight of the Valkaries" playing at full bore, from every mountainside, as we run in at 100 feet.... I want "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE," playing after the first bomb hits, and when I'm WINCHESTER ammunition, I wanna land on Bin Laden's personal airstrip, grab him by his twisted, dead neck and poke him in the eyes and say, "YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED OUT!"

I want the NFL cheerleaders to send us off to war, and the XFL cheerleaders to welcome us home. And while we're at it I don't just want to beat the crap outta these scumbags, I want to humiliate them, too. I want to see Schwartzkopf come outta retirement, to start kicking some butt... I want a cure for Alzheimer's - right now - to get Reagan back in working order, and like Dennis Leary says, I want a cure for cancer, to thaw out the 'Duke' and see just how pissed off he is right now.

I want STUKA terror sirens, mounted to the wings of my Hawg...although the unique whine of our engines is about all the terror siren we'll need right now...

All right, Zero... slow down... breathe... in... out....ok... I think the coffee has worn off a bit now, and I should get back to work. You just picked the wrong people to mess with...not such a good day to be a bad guy."

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