Someone sent me this in an email today...I did a search and didn't find it posted already..so here it is.

Hot damn! This looks perty original! Actually, it's by George Carlin and Ted Danson.

Moebius strikes again!

Can we get an official "Bad American Thread" logo? Cuz we need one real bad.

Nugent got'em good!

Hey John, how about a Nugent posting filter? It should save lots of resources.

How does The Motor City Madman feel about the pending internet tax?

Unforunately the archives are unavailable, or I would really nail you with the last twenty or thirty times this was posted.

I did a search by simply inserting the words "Bad American" and HERE IT IS.

What the h*ll kind of search did you call that?

Look, it's really very simple:

DO NOT POST ANYTHING YOU GET VIA EMAIL!!!! EVER!!!! IF YOU'VE SEEN IT, THEN EVERY OTHER FREEPER WHO HAS EMAIL HAS SEEN IT, OR WILL SEE IT SHORTLY.

Got it?

I am Bits.

My complaint about The Tourist Guy

The Tourist Guy's worst transgressions are systematically whitewashed by the press. To counteract that whitewash, I will use the remainder of my space here to expose Tourist Guy for who he really is. Before I begin, let me point out that there is no place in this country where we are safe from Tourist Guy's apparatchiks, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. Above all, I am morally and ethically opposed to his allegations. He has convinced a lot of people that profits come before people. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. Take, for example, crazy swaggerers. Now look at Tourist Guy. If you don't believe there's a similarity, then consider that this is typical of the kind of noise he enjoys making -- and Tourist Guy knows it.

Does he have a point? I doubt it. He has been known to say that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately invidious. That notion is so baleful, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. We must continue to monitor Tourist Guy's cringers and expose them as the sententious, inarticulate boors they are. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Tourist Guy's power-hungry, wretched propositions. When we get us out of the hammerlock that Tourist Guy is holding us in, we are not only threading our way through a maze of competing interests; we are weaving the very pattern of our social fabric.

Would we, as thinking people, believe carousers who tried to tell us we're all self-satisfied? I say "no." Far be it for me to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. I'll let you in on a little secret: if you can go more than a minute without hearing him talk about neocolonialism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. I'm sure Tourist Guy seriously believes that courtesy and manners don't count for anything, seeing how his selective memory works. End of story. Actually, I should add that there is a simple answer to the question of what to do about his prognoses. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight.

He is utterly batty. We all are, to some extent, but Tourist Guy sets the curve. I can assure you that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to confront and reject all manifestations of nonrepresentationalism.

Tourist Guy's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not?) Although Tourist Guy has unfairly depicted me and those who share my beliefs as lackwits and wheeler-dealers, we are neither. Yes, you won't hear his vassals admit that he's audacious, but Tourist Guy is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his offhand remarks.

This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: denominationalism. I'm inclined to think that if I hear his operatives say, "We have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years" one more time, I'm unquestionably going to throw up. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that it's easy enough to hate Tourist Guy any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Tourist Guy is up to, things that ought to make a real Tourist Guy-hater out of you. First off, he spews out his vituperative slander from a safe, no-risk forum. So what's the connection between that and his expedients? The connection is that Tourist Guy does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, he discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. Tourist Guy says that catty bigamists and the most uncompromising gadflies you'll ever see should rule this country. Yet he also wants to demonize my family and friends. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask, because his announcements are not witty satire, as Tourist Guy would have you believe. They're simply the annoying ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he's mocking. In a manner of speaking, he is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, Tourist Guy's willingness to strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love sets a new world record for brazenness.

When a political condition of greed, massive corruption, and diversity of objective is coupled to a social condition of drugs, violence, and discontent, therein exists the perfect environment for Tourist Guy to detach individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity -- family, class, private associations. His smears are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, he maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around him. There's a word for that: libel. For all of the foregoing reasons, I can confidently claim that one could truthfully say that I am ashamed to admit that I live on the same planet as Tourist Guy. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner.

He may not be cold-blooded, but Tourist Guy sure is distasteful. Take, as an example, the way that he wants to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. Well, I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I only wish that he had the same intellectual honesty. Not only does he numb the public to the conformism and injustice in mainstream politics, but he then commands his secret agents, "Go, and do thou likewise." To most people, the idea that Tourist Guy wants to preach fear and ignorance, even though, for most people, this desire is neither necessary nor instinctive is so endemic, so long ingrained, that when others conclude that unlike Tourist Guy, I have chosen to take the moral high ground and will remain there, this merely seems to be affirming an obvious truth. I was, however, going to forget about the whole thing when it suddenly occurred to me that he wants to convert lush forests into arid deserts. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis.

Might I suggest that he search for a hobby? It seems Tourist Guy has entirely too much time on his hands, given how often he tries to repeat the mistakes of the past. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we lived in a world without stentorian recidivists? There are some simple truths in this world. First, cowardice, irresponsibility, and snobbism are inextricably wedded in his witticisms. Second, there are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in his revenge fantasies. And finally, I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with him. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I take a strong position on Tourist Guy's treatises, which, after all, destroy that which is the envy of -- and model for -- the entire civilized world.

In the course of my work, I regularly come in contact with deluded cheapskates, and most of them also feel that the poisonous wine of antiheroism had been distilled long before Tourist Guy entered the scene. Tourist Guy is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. His diatribes reek of nepotism. I use the word "reek", because if it weren't for indecent litterbugs, he would have no friends. Even though Tourist Guy insists that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and irritating hippies, I think that anyone with eyes and a brain can tell that he is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. What I had wanted for this letter was to write an analysis of The Tourist Guy's publicity stunts. Not a exhortation or a shrill denunciation, but an analysis. I hope I have succeeded at that.

Even if it was written by Paul Reubens I still like this part quite alot:

Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said - now leave the document alone, or there's going to be trouble

You said it. Nugent got 'em but good. I wish he would have put this in his book. Not that I read it.

Oh, and I almost forgot: This is an Urban Legend. Nugent did not write it (he even says so on his website). Carlin didn't write it. No one knows where it came from.

READ ALL ABOUT IT.

The Nuge is classic, I just finished his new book. Excellent. He comes off angry in pieces like this, but he's actually intelligent and a good debater. Catch him on radio if at all possible.

Try searching for 'Bad American'

Like right here

My complaint about Ted Nugent

May I be cynical for a bit? I hope you don't mind, but with Ted Nugent's latest barrage of scurrilous, presumptuous campaigns, I can't resist the urge to make a few cynical comments. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Ted, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him, but because he is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further. At first, you might be unsure as to whether he never acts out of motives that might seem credible or even understandable to the rest of humanity. But on deeper inspection, you'll unequivocally conclude that he contends that he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. Sounds rather unregenerate, doesn't it? Well, that's Ted for you. Although I can no more change the past than see the future, it's safe to say that it's unfortunate that he has no real education. It's impossible to debate important topics with someone who is so mentally handicapped.

I want nothing more -- or less -- than to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance. To that task I have consecrated my life, and I invite you to do likewise. A brief study of sociology will show one inescapable fact: Ted doesn't want equality, but revenge, so to speak. He wants all of us to believe that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. That's why he sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media. As I mentioned before, Ted's simplistic reasoning follows the same fallacies as so many other treatises on similar issues. But let me add that he should just exercise some common sense and some common decency. But the problems with his personal attacks don't end there.

It seems ironic that all of Ted's shell games share elements of traditional, callous conspiracy themes in which hate-filled Huns (especially the stingy type) secretly tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation, given that he presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. Ted is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors the most headstrong delinquents you'll ever see. And here we have the ultimate irony, because Ted argues that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: Many of us do not wish to live within his walls of elitism. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to sound the bugle of liberty. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that all the deals he makes are strictly one-way. Ted gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations. For heaven's sake, Ted's latest manifesto, like all the ones that preceded it, is a consummate anthology of disastrously bad writing teeming with misquotations and inaccuracies, an odyssey of anecdotes that are occasionally entertaining, but certainly not informative. Ted is out to condition the public to accept violence as normal and desirable. And when we play his game, we become accomplices. He has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to cause one-sided overgeneralizations to be entered into historical fact. Comments on the above are welcome, but please think them out first.

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Well, Nugent DOES rock. They're jealous!

Apparently Jim Rob's spiffy HTML filter missed this closing tag:

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