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Posted on 12/13/2001 11:36:04 AM PST by Cagey

Fun Things To Do At Wal*Mart

• Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

• Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them into people’s carts when they don’t realize it.

• Set all alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals throughout the day.

• Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "Where are your tampons?"

• Try on bras over the top of your clothes.

• Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restroom.

• While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "I smell sex and candy"

• Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we’ve got a code 3 in housewares", and see what happens.

• Tune all of the radios to the polka station; then turn them off and turn the volumes to 10.

• Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

• Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

• Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

• Put M&M’s on layaway.

• Move "Caution: Wet Floors" signs on carpeted areas.

• Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if the bring pillows from Bed and Bath

• Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

• Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

• When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask "Why won’t you people just leave me alone?"

• Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

• Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with GI Joe’s –vs- The X-Men.

• Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

• While handling guns in the Hunting Department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

• Switch the men and women’s signs on the doors of the restrooms.

• Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme song to "Mission Impossible".

• Set up a Valet Parking in front of the store.

• In the Auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.

• Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through say things like "Pick me!! Pick me!!"and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

• When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "No! No! It’s those voices again!"

• Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazine aisle and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

• Go into the dressing room and yell real loud…"Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!"

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