Posted on 12/22/2001 6:04:54 PM PST by klee
WHAT is it about the instant messenger that turns perfectly rational people into dribbling psychos?
Millions of Yanks and Brits spend huge chunks of their day chatting to pals all over the world - but many are taking things a little too far, according to a special report by Daily Roast Opinions cutie, Cleo (pictured left)
For the few of you who live on Mars, IMs are emails for people who can't be bothered to wait ten minutes to get a reply to their messages.
They tend to be popular among impatient twenty-somethings like myself, who are too cheapskate to use the telephone and for reasons best known to ourselves manage to have every nut-job in captivity on our buddy lists.
To date I have had ferocious dust-ups with boyfriends and ex-boyfriends, loony-tune stalkers pestering me and a whole heap of saddoes IMing me because they happened to find my screenname listed in the Yahoo directory.
The other day was another adventure in IMing when I ran into not one ex-boyfriend...but three.
It all started out quite normally as I woke up at noon the day after my 21st birthday. Things were pretty quiet so I decided to jump online to see what was going on, check my email, perhaps post on a message board or two, and log off.
No such luck. Up pops a message from Boy #1 who we will call Bob*. Bob is what I call a 'friend with benefits' and I could really have done without his imput on this particular day. Turns out things went wrong with his father, they got in a fight, and he decided that he wanted to lay this all on yours truly..
I wasn't in the mood, so I tried lightening the mood and in return he became even more upset... AT ME! The nerve! So... he's mad at me...
In steps Boy #2, who we will call Jack*. Jack is my most recent actual boyfriend who ended up having intense feelings for me, and I, unfortunately , didn’t return these feelings at the time.
I was feeling a little down, so I figured if I talked to him, then maybe I would feel better about my situation... I was SOO wrong. Turns out Jack has found a new girlfriend and decided that he just HAD to tell me all about her... and what’s this? I started getting jealous!
TOTALLY weird, considering it was ME that broke up with HIM, right? Wrong. Poor me... having one ex love hating me, another truly bursting with joy (YUCK!) things couldn’t get worse....
And THEN in comes Martin* , boy #3. Martin is my current on-again, off-again.... thing. He's sweet and funny and kind and a complete nymphomaniac... and now he says he’s in love with me... then notices I’m in a “not-so-great” mood and promptly tells me I need to get laid.
Jokingly I asked, 'By whom?' (thinking he would be his normal sexual self and say himself) but he said, and I DO quote: 'Doesn’t matter, but make sure he's uglier than I am.' After the day I’ve been having, I CANNOT deal with this overload of information so I CLICKED off all of my messengers and started writing this... and here we are.
They say things happen in threes... death... good things... bad things... Now I can certainly say this is true. Was this a huge practical joke being played on me by Karma?
The lunatic who somehow found my home address and delivered me flowers is a story for another day.
It all just makes me wonder... WHY do men have to be so impossible? And why are we girls so desperate for company that we allow these bozos air-time on our buddy lists.
The world may never know.
* Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
SO thats what our comrade had done
It wasn't me. I don't know anyone in IM named Cleo. And she's talking about having sex with someone...it's definitely not me. I've got the vow of poverty thing going, the vow of chastity, and I'm working on the obedience thing....heck, I may as well drop school and go into the priesthood (save that I'm not Catholic).
I understand the local mosques have a few openings...:-)
If only it was restricted to one day. I am constantly inundated with men from Muslim countries on ICQ raving on. Its a plague...
Nah...that's ok. When I say I practice a peaceful religion, I want to be able to back it up by example.
Actually she is a pal of mine and she has a life. Quite a good one.
Let's see: her life consists of stringing along three guys using IM, getting mad about it and then writing an internet letter to complain about it. Boy #3 was right but I don't think she gets out enough to find out.
So we blocked all IM traffic at the firewall. It's one of the more pernicious time-wasters out there.
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