Since Nov 9, 2004

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You know you're from Southern Utah when:

1. You have ever heard food used as a swear word.
2. You eat your French fries and chicken nuggets not with ketchup, but with fry sauce.
3. You find yourself using the phrase “freaking A!”
4. You take naps before you go to bed, because there’s nothing else to do.
5. ‘Tooele’ is pronounced “Too-illa” and ‘Hurricane’ is pronounced “Hurrick-un.”
6. Seeing the polygamist women and their children shopping at Walmart is a common occurrence.
7. Schools don’t close for snow days. Ever.
8. Deer Hunt is as big as the Fourth of July.
9. You know more people from California and Las Vegas than you do from Utah.
10. You pronounce ‘ornery’ like “on-ree.”
11. (Girls) Your head is half the size when your hair isn’t done.
12. (Girls) Your hairdo has ever had corners.
13. You know what a Jack-Mormon is, and know who is one and who isn’t one.
14. Zoo animals are elected before Democrats.
15. Walmart is the local hangout.
16. You can ride your four-wheeler (ATV) down Main Street and no one cares.
17. You learned to drive at the age of six.
18. You stop being shocked at people with fifteen and sixteen kids.
19. You have fifteen or sixteen kids.
20. You know it only rains when the alfalfa is down.
21. The dirtiest four-letter word is actually ‘wind.’
22. You know what a Joshua Tree is.
23. You have actually seen a Joshua Tree.
24. You have never seen a real taxi.
25. You know someone, who knows someone that was in Napoleon Dynamite, or was based on.
26. If you’re not married by nineteen, people start nagging you about it.
27. You know about ‘The Garments.’
28. You’ve ever tried to make up a funny-sounding name, and met someone with that name.
29. You’ve ever had people stare at you for ordering coffee in a restaurant.
30. You personally know your town’s homeless person – or, you have never seen a homeless person.
31. You were shocked about what happened to the homeless people during the Salt Lake City Olympics.
32. The sun shines all year long, but you go to the tanning booths anyway.
33. You have met at least one descendant of Brigham Young.
34. The tallest building in town is four stories.
35. You are or know someone who is offended by the term “Tinkerbell’s Castle.”
36. You are shocked that people smoke indoors in other states.
37. You can name every golf course in the county and their locations.
38. Cigarette lighters in new vehicles are optional, but gun racks and ski racks are standard equipment.
39. You know what a ward is.
40. (Non-LDS) People you don’t even know have attempted to convert you.
41. When you travel outside of Utah, you find it hard not to stare at black people.
42. 30% humidity is muggy and unbearable.
43. 11” of rain per year is not only pretty darn good, but it’s over average.
44. You are perfectly willing to drive to Nevada or Arizona to buy some real beer.
45. Jello is its own food group.
46. You don't even blink at sentences like "we was livin' out to Modena" anymore.
47. Distances are measured in minutes, not miles.
48. You can go from snow to palm trees in less than an hour.
49. You have a hard time pronouncing words with t's in the middle - "mountain," "kitten," "button," etc.
50. You know what 'Rocky Mountain Oysters' are.
51. You have eaten 'Rocky Mountain Oysters.'
52. You have been in a Utah traffic jam - five cars behind a tractor.
53. You say things like "we're going up to Nevada."
54. Your swear word vocabulary consists of "Oh my gosh darn flippin' heck!!"
55. When you meet someone new the first thing they ask you is what ward you're in.
56. You shop at D.I. for all your clothing.
57. You think that stop signs are for decoration only.
58. You accelerate when you see a yellow light instead of slowing down.
59. Y'all like to go hunt'n on the mount'n and fishin' in the crick.
60. Your use of apostrophe's annoy's outsider's.
61. You ask a girl/guy out and later find out she/he's your cousin.
62. You don't find it at all unusual that people are getting married right after they finish high school.
63.You know what a "polyg rig" is, and you or someone you know drives one.
64. Weather related problems are not an excuse for missing work or school.
65. If there's a wildfire coming towards your house, you don't bother packing up and leaving, you just hose the house down.
66. You know someone who was almost killed in a wildfire because they just stood around and hosed their house down.
67. You can't find things in other cities in other states because you don't understand the street names. Just how do they organize that, anyway?
68. Prom or homecoming is planned around General Conference.
69. Most people you know were crushed when Mitt Romney was the first person out of Republican nominations.
70. You could burn up in a wildfire or drown in a flash flood the same week.
71. You know the stories about the huge faultline underneath Cedar City that produces a huge earthquake every hundred and fifty years, and how a huge earthquake is due any minute, are just an excuse for school officials to make kids dive under their desks with their rears in the air.
72. You have ever joked about Toquerville being called "Too-queer-ville."
73. You drive better in April because the potholes are filled with snow.
74. A good snowfall in June is undesirable, but not uncommon.
75. When you can go snow skiing and water skiing within 70 miles and 70 minutes.
76. Wild Coyote Ranch is the best ranch dressing ever invented.
77. The first state you think of is Arizona, not Nevada, when your friend says "let's go out to the Strip."
78. You know that Pine Valley is a mountain in Washington County, and you are fine calling the mountain Pine Valley and don't feel it should be changed to Pine Mountain.
79.You actually know where Short Crick is.
80. You don't laugh anymore when someone says the word Paunsagaunt.
81.You have woken up at some point in your life to find a herd of cattle, sheep, or horses grazing peacefully on your front lawn.
82. A high percentage of the shoes in your home are constantly filled with red sand and/or cactus needles.
83. "F'rill" is a word.

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