The plight of divorced dads

National Post ^ | December 08, 2007 | Barbara Kay

[fanfan]

“If I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today, it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.”

It’s hard to take someone seriously when they spout idiocy like this.

It only sounds like idiocy until you’ve lived through it.

I tell my son not to marry.

[wideawake]

I tell my son not to marry.

Is it possible that your son might be able to avoid the mistakes you made?

Is it possible, given that so many people throughout the ages have been contentedly married, that you - and not marriage itself - is the screwup?

It's a sad parent who vents his shortcomings on his children.

[fanfan]

Is it possible that your son might be able to avoid the mistakes you made?

Interesting response, WA. I married a divorced man who had two children. I think my son will avoid that particular pitfall.

Is it possible, given that so many people throughout the ages have been contentedly married, that you - and not marriage itself - is the screwup?

I've only been married once, for 26 years now, and my husband was married twice To his ex-wife for 11 years, and 26 years with me. He stayed with her through affairs, and an abortion from one of those affairs, trying to save the marriage, finally leaving when she told him she wanted to marry one of her toys.

By the time we met, her toy had fizzled, and she wanted her old life back. He said no, and the lawyers started making money.

It's a sad parent who vents his shortcomings on his children.

I agree. Are you accusing me of such?

[fanfan]

The men who are opting out of marriage and family are men who understand the risks. It is entirely unnecessary for those risks to be as high as they are. They are so high entirely as the result of government corruption. Asking other men to simply accept that is a bizarre response. They aren’t the ones who are weakening marriage. Marriage and family as legal institutions are dead in America - literally killed off by government corruption. The only way you can support the restoration of the institutions is to oppose, as strongly as possible, the corruption that lead to its demise.

Bump!

[TruthSetsUFree]

I think you likely misunderstand that the problem is that once a man is married, if the wife wants a divorce and wants to take the children with her, he’s totally screwed. It’s certainly not his fault or his screw up, other than he married her. You can say he could’ve chosen better, but hindsight is better than foresight, and people change; they don’t always stay the same as the day you married them.

The problem is, the better a man provides for his family - making enough money so his wife can stay home with the kids, providing a nice house and car(s), etc., the more the court extracts from him when his wife leaves with the kids, so that the kids can have the same lifestyle they had before the divorce. Talk about punishing the best husbands, fathers and providers.