Posted on 09/25/2008 11:12:07 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB
Nope...did you hear about the hooker who had an appendectomy? The doctor stitched up the wrong opening and now she's making money on the side....
LOL!!!!!!!!!
Proper PPE is required on this job. I would specify a full face respirator.
Bet Mike Rowe did it...would have been one hellofa Dirty Job...
And then there was the lady who backed into an airplane propeller. Disaster.
I figured this was about Barney Frank. I guess not...
The doctor’s attorney dismissed the patient complaint, saying the man had a history of being anal retentive, anyway.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!
That’s just wrong...hilarious, but oh so wrong.
Oy. Apt, though gross.
>> now she’s making money on the side....
Heh. Hadn’t heard about that one.
I did hear about the lady flight line worker who backed into the airplane propeller.
Disaster!
Stand back kid, that things gonna blow!
Who is the boss
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss.
The brain said, “since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss.”
The feet said, “since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss.”
The hands said, “since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss.”
And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body, each giving the reason why they should be the boss.
Finally, the a##hole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.
All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the a##hole being the boss. The a##hole got so angry that he blocked himself off and refused to function.
Soon the brain was feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and was almost too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes grew bleary, and the hands hung useless at the sides. All pleaded with the brain to let the a##hole be declared the boss.
And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the a##hole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.
THE MORAL: You don’t have to be a brain to be a boss, just an old a##hole.
Alternate moral: No matter how well things are going, it can all be shut down by a single a##hole.
:-)
Wish I had read YOUR post before I “did number 32”...
ROFLMAO - oh my lord, I can’t stop laughing over your post....
the doctor’s attorney indicated that the plaintiff was full of SH*T ...
This would make Sheryl Crowe happy. Saves lots of toilet paper.
THE MONKEY AND THE PIG
Three agricultural scientists were determined to discover how much a pig could eat before it just had to take a crap. To this end they procured a Yorkshire sow and pushed a large cork into her arse.
After six weeks of force feeding, the sow was the size of the Goodyear airship and threatening to burst. Being humane types, the scientists agreed that the cork must now be removed.
No-one wished to volunteer for the job, however, so in true scientific tradition, they decided to train a monkey for the task and swiftly put a small gibbon through a crash course in cork-pulling.
The day came and the pig was air-lifted out to the desert for safety's sake. Special equipment was set up to monitor the event. Picture the scene: In the middle of the desert, the pig. Behind the pig, the monkey. One mile behind him, the first scientists with a video camera. One mile behind that scientist are the other two scientists with a seismometer. Finally, the monkey reaches up and pulls out the cork. SPLAT!
When the massive geyser has subsided, the two scientists find themselves knee-deep in pig manure. Grabbing shovels they wade forward and dig out the first man who has been buried up to his neck. When they free him they find that he is laughing hysterically.
"What's so funny?" they ask.
"You should have seen the monkey trying to get the cork back in!"
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