Posted on 04/19/2017 8:13:51 PM PDT by Olog-hai
Maybe it's generational. A different way of viewing life expectations, according to how you were raised, and in what era.
I was born into a hard working blue collar family in the early fifties. Kids of my generation (and socio-economic circumstance) were expected to leave the nest between 18 and 20, whether we went to college or not. It was simply expected by our elders that we go out into the world and begin our own lives - just as they had done.
Where I came from, every kid did so, with few exceptions.
I’m happy my daughters aren’t chopping at the bit to leave our home. It helps that they are financially self supporting for the most part and saving money and take care of themselves and household chores.
Two college grads working in their fields (mechanical engineer and music industry - business) and one a junior with a 4.0 BSN major and the baby an accounting major who just scored a tutoring job for next semester and a full time summer job while still living at home.
Whatever works.
Your comment is probably mostly true. It’s fairly well known that Berkshire and many other funds bought bundles of US properties in the 2008-2011 area to hold for rentals. That was a huge business at the time. Those properties certainly no longer make as much sense to buy-for-rental and they have appreciated nicely since that time. Meanwhile, the Chinese are predominantly cash buyers who do not value real estate quite in the conventional sense. So it’s an opportune time to sell.
I recall when I was working as a realtor, circa 2007, there were quite literally no small multi-family properties one could buy in my (expensive, SF Bay) area because foreign buyers would bid them up and overpay for them. Such properties would routinely be bid up to the point where they were guaranteed money-losers; but they may have become OK to own by now since rents have skyed. As many Chinese are and were looking to get their money out of China, their choice is/was to overpay or risk losing most or all of it.
This is not the only factor, housing remains in high demand in high-employment areas, but it is a definite factor.
Well Italians do tend to hold families tight.....I rented from a wealthy Italian family whose 26 yr old son was still living at home....the mother said all her sons did till they were married. But it wasn’t so much about “family” as it was about saving money.
I think every parent understands when it’s time...because their children let them know. I also think going to college makes a difference...they leave then to further their education as mine did....once done with college they’re ore than ready to “fly”...and fly high they do.
I was born into a blue collar, hard working family in the 60s. Kids stayed at home until they married. My grandparents were legal immigrants from Italy and Ireland. Families lived on the same street or neighborhood in South Philly.
True and as stated previously, not everything is about “time to fly.”
I doubt I’ll never get it, especially on a conservative site, about kids leaving when it’s not financially viable or otherwise. In our house, once they graduate high school, they are already free. They still have to help around the house type things but they have no other restrictions out of those that are common courtesy.
Just one of those things I’ll never understand :)
Good stories here.
My son is going to be in his third year of a Criminal Justice degree. He lives at school and while he appreciates the time he’s at home he wants out ASAP after he gets out of school. We’ll see. If he stays here until he gets settled he’s paying his food bill.
In my view, there’s a point in a person’s maturation process when it’s right and fitting for them to leave the family home and begin their life as a sovereign adult.
For at least the last hundred years, it’s been universally agreed in this country, that that age is somewhere between 18 and 21. Naturally, individuals, families, and circumstances vary, but for most people, that’s about the time period when one can successfully fly solo and not look back.
Generally speaking, that’s also the point in a person’s life when they begin to feel a strong desire to strike out and build their own life. Its a natural part of the maturing process.
I agree with you, that in some cases, things work out better all around if a kid stays home longer, but more often, staying at home beyond a certain age becomes a stultifying experience that weakens a young person’s natural ability and inclination to become self sufficient and independent.
I watched one aunt and an uncle (on my father’s side) delay leaving home for so long, they lost their capacity for independence, and became stuck for life. Neither of them ever married, and though both were college educated, they wound up as permanent dependents on their parents.
My grandparents are gone now, but my aunt and uncle still live in the old house, subsisting on my granddad’s investment income and gov’t assistance. What a horrifying waste of life. It’s like a sad movie that I’ve been watching play out for half a century.
Well Twink....it’s not just about money.....it’s about learning to handle some of the hard knocks of life early on rather than later....which none are except from.
It’s like college kids who have to put their own skin in the game over that of those whose parents pay their way.....Both my sons paid for their own college...they found a way to do so...though we helped they did the most themselves.
Same with a kid who gets out on his own..throws a mattress on the floor for a bed and works his way from there....a kid gets a lot of pride for doing it on his own....and that remains throughout their life.
That was pretty much the model in my own extended family, but most of my siblings, cousins, and I, were out of the house and married by the age of 21. Even those who didn't marry right away, were up and gone by at least the age of 22.
Good post Windflier....well stated.
We’re all aware also of kids who think going to school is a career choice! They never finish!..
I hate these types of polling or whatever it is. The people in the 60’s and 70’s got married at 22 (about). We’ll you guys were late as well considering the people in the 30’s and 40’s got married at 15-16.....so you guys were slackers in comparison.
They are getting married much older and having 2 kids. Heck why not live out your 20’s and early 30’s get married at 35, punch out a kid at 36 and 38 and live out the rest of your lives. There is no reason to get married at 22 anymore since nobody is having 14 kids anymore. Let kids have fun. Heck my wife and I were 28 when we married and now have 4 kids. Why do you want kids to get married so young????? It doesn’t make sense anymore. My oldest is 19 and I’d kill him if he were to married right now. Stupid Stupid Stupid.
A good friend of mine’s 90 year old mother has lived in Queens for over 60 years. The Chinese have come in and bought up a lot of homes. They are very small homes and the Chinese go door to door offering to pay double in cash! Her Mom does not want to sell and she and a few other older people are all that’s left on her street.
The Antifa-SJW living in Mommy’s basement is real, not just a stereotype. They are pathetic oversized children who never grew up and don’t have the basic life skills to take care of themselves - just to destroy.
Our neighbor’s son who is around 25 or 26 still lives at home. He has a big diesel truck that requires about ten minutes to warm up (or so they say)and every time he starts up the truck I turn to my wife and say shouldn’t be be married by now and moved out?
He has a job, works and I assume is well paid, why he would want to live with his parents is a mystery to me.
NJ is the worst state for young people to buy homes; our place at the top of the list nationally for property taxes (again) confirms this. Young Americans would rather buy homes in states with more jobs, less taxes, and more Americans.
To compensate for this exodus of Americans, NJ has functioned as a “sanctuary state” for decades now.
“So why are real estate prices rising?”
Cheap money. You think anyone actually ‘pays’ for a house anymore (other than a good number of FReepers)?
Turn off the cheap money and real estate will drop to its true value.
I lived at home until I married in my mid-20s; I’d probably have stayed for years longer if I didn’t marry. Most of my siblings as the years went on moved out whether they married or not, but as Irish Catholics the idea of cohabitating is simply unthinkable - they have their own places, but the unmarried ones live alone.
I have no issue with children remaining home if they choose (and the parents consent); the relationship morphs and the children become the primary caretakers of ageing parents. A lot of the push to “launch” these people is driven by 1) bitter American women who can’t find a husband, or even a baby-daddy/sperm donor, and 2) a government that wants these people as consumers (for many household items, and with children in public school systems) and as property tax payers.
A while back someone posted a pic of some dorky-looking young adults playing video games; I asked why anyone would bother them as they seemed so content, and nobody could answer.
Those “hard knocks” will come regardless of where you live; I’m glad young people are smart enough to realize this isn’t the 1950s anymore, where one parent with a decent job can afford a home in a good area and a late-model car. The indebtedness that one encounters trying to live in denial isn’t worth it; if these people can build a nest egg and obtain critical job skills while staying home, let them. The people I know in the worst shape financially are those that “escaped” the earliest; financial woes lead to marriage woes, and if one can prevent these issues they should.
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