Posted on 12/22/2017 9:40:21 AM PST by sodpoodle
I’d love to vacation in outer space and take a picture of the earth and convert it to a postcard.
I’d send it to my friends “Wish you were here...”
Thanks! =:-)
I said, I am not OLD!
With the holidays upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
Many people have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends. Well, last weekend I was out for an evening with friends and had a few cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.
Feeling quite jolly, I still had the sense to know that I might be slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something I’ve never done before—— I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block. But since it was a cab, they waved me past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before. I don’t know where I got it; and now that it’s in my garage, I don’t know what to do with it.
I knew a woman who embezzled $500,000.00 from American Family Insurance. She was a Project Manager when they were building their huge ‘campus’ on the north side of Madison, WI. (That place is STILL growing and being added to.)
She saw five years in prison, AND has to somehow pay it all back. She cannot hold ANY job that involves money.
Her husband had to divorce her (they’re still together as far as I know) so they couldn’t take HIS assets.
She was the classiest, prettiest, nicest woman you’d ever meet. It was quite a shock when this all came out.
I’m passing this on because it worked for me, today! Dr. Oz, on TV, said that to reach Inner Peace we should always finish things we start...and we all could use more calm in our lives during the hectic Christmas Season. I looked around my house to find things I’d started and hadn’t finished, so I finished off a bottle of wine, a bottle of whiskey, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now! Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum!
My Boobs Are Ok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SA58OXS4j8
Your post reminds me of letter a girlfriend sent me 50 years ago, but I have not been able to find it, after moving 7 times since then.
It was similar to yours, but the writer was sending a letter to a friend, while mixing and drinking martinis.
After drinking three, misspellings started frequently. By the time the sixth was down, words were almost unintelligible. But they were recognizable enough, as yours, to make me laugh and laugh.
Thanks for the hilarity!
Martinis are my favorite drink, ever! However:
‘I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m under my host.’
~Dorothy Parker
What do you call an escaped midget clairvoyant?
A small medium at large.
Yeah, that's it...
Have seen this before and just as funny.
My father-in-law embezzled money from the oil company he worked for, as head geologist. He apparently just couldn’t say no to his wife, my mother-in-law, so when she wanted a new car, or new furniture, etc., he would end up paying for it with his company card. This was in the 90’s, apparently. When I got married in 2001, he had to get permission to go out of state for the wedding, because he was still on probation. He’s since completed it, but it was a surprise as he is extremely button-down, by the book kind of guy. Just completely out of character.
Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend
Inside of a dog it’s to dark to read
Groucho Marx
My best friends’ best fried is no dog, she’s a fox
Yep. Sometimes you think you know someone...and then you see their True Colors. Always disappointing. :(
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