Posted on 11/26/2004 5:29:21 PM PST by NYC GOP Chick
Don't forget she married a husband cursed with not just sexual ambiguity, but complete dorkiness. Talk about the worst of both worlds.
Wha.....? Was I supposed to call?
No offense to guys. It does go both ways. (wanting what we can't have...) I phrased it this way to keep in line with this book that has been written by a woman to other women.
I remember having to give this same advice to male acquaintances of mine also.
I have a feeling they both got what they deserved. Two very unsympathetic people.
you need to be very clear to her about boundaries. She does not want to hear about your new car when she wont be riding shotgun. She cannot clean your room, call you incessantly and you tolerate because you "don't want to be mean."
Explain that the relationship has ended and she needs to move on with her life without you. Invitations to hang out shall end. Casual dates will end. Phone calls will go into voicemail.
Allow her dignity. Unfortunately, relationships bring pain. And she will need to experience pain that you cannot take away. But she will grow and learn and move on in her own time.
This is from your mother, who many posted gave common sense they ignored when young.
Love ya dear.
Ain't that the truth? It seems like so much obvious, common sense, but sometimes people delude themselves and need to be slapped back into reality.
I am glad I'm not either of them.
That's what I'm counting on -- and, with luck, one of those classic gender wars to break out. I'm easily amused, what can I say? :D
I was raised by people who lacked commonsense. I basically had to learn from doing the opposite of what I witnessed.
And for the best dating advice for *guys* I've ever seen, check out the "Doc Love" archives -- and it's free online.
Don't let the author's cheesy pen name scare you off, nor the fact that he makes sales pitches for his compiled advice under the name "The System".
Most of what's likely in the "pay" package is available in his weekly free columns, and there are a ton of them on that website.
I've been married over sixteen years now, but while reading those columns I kept thinking two things a) "wow, this guy's saying stuff it took me *decades* to learn about women and dating the hard way, and b) where in the *hell* was he when I needed him thirty years ago?
Take it from an old married guy, the author *really* knows his stuff, and his advice is dead-on -- and just like the "get over it" advice in the article which started this thread, a lot of it's common-sense cut-through-the-BS stuff that seems incredibly obvious once you stop to think about it -- the problem is that most people never *do* actually stop to think about it. Or think about it and, like the women in the article, would rather cling to their illusions.
One thing the author does that puts him above all the other "dating advice" authors is that he has interviewed countless people, especially women, and instead of just asking women questions like what they think they want in a guy, he also asks them what kind of guy *actually* won them over. And it's interesting how different the two answers are.
And like a lot of folks in this thread have pointed out, one point he makes is that almost above all else, what gets a woman's interest is a guy who's a challenge (a variant of "wanting what they can't have").
The "Doc Love" columns often assume that the reader has read the points explained in the earlier columns, and the first page at the link is actually the most *recent* columns, so it's best to follow the "More Archives" link to walk through the past pages (all 25 of them) so that you can start reading from the first columns, then hit the "back" button to work your way chronologically through them.
While you're at it, don't forget the manicures, pedicures and trips to department store cosmetics counters! :D
I respect your view, but disagree. This premise is dead on right.
I've got a book full of all-time great quotes about love, sex, and romance (entitled "Was It Good For You Too?"), and one of the most memorable ones was:
"On your wedding day, say goodbye to your best friend -- unless your best friend is of the opposite sex and not your bride, in which case you just married the wrong person."
Well, I feel stupid now. I just assumed the author was a woman. My bad.
I don't think it's so much a matter of calling guys "simplistic, non-introspective buffoons" (although I did meet more than the average share of them in the past), so much as that perhaps most guys don't overanalyze relationships, dates, etc., to death the way women have a tendency to do.
The guys in the pics were covered! Did they get removed or something???
Right! Women need to know the three "s"es of men. Sports, sex and sandwiches. It really isn't much more difficult than that.
Obviously she's a Kerry supporter.
Actually, she probably is -- she's been a longtime Bush-hater. So has her husband, apparently, in another context. ;)
No. A well-muscled pool boy would be good, too. And a charge account at a good jeweler.
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