Posted on 12/13/2004 5:39:51 AM PST by Le Bouledogue Britannique
Nice post, Poseidon:
The US may have "McDonalds", but the UK (Specifically Scotland) has "Haggis".
The Brits created one of the prettiest, fastest and most maneuverable fighter aircraft of WWII with the Supermarine Spitfire. Until an American engineer named "Dutch" Kindeleburger agreed to help the Air Ministery by developing and producing the P-51 "Mustang" in under a year. Which matched and quickly surpassed the "Spitfire". The RAF nicknamed our gift to them the "Apache".
The US has the supreme Heavy Bomber in the B-52.
Where's yours?
If one has neither firearms or the vote. One is a "subject"
and not a "citizen".
We may have Prozac, but the UK had the "Opium Wars".
Jack.
Posting this rubbish will not change that.
You Brits are a hoot. Bless you.
"Bush held up, then ate, some raw corn during a campaign photo-op in Iowa. The limey's were aghast!"
So that's where the raw corn thing comes from. OK.
I'll give the Brits benefit of the doubt due in large part to...
Winston Churchill
Margaret Thatcher
The Beatles
J.R.R. Tolkien
and, of course, Monty Python
:o)
We, a small nation, in the space of a few generations, built the largest Empire the world has ever seen, and then gave it all back. Just for laughs.
----
No, America wasn't "given" back, it was claimed by force. You also couldn't keep M. East people in line which is why we're over there dying, at present. India-Ghandi? Must I keep going?
This is tongue in cheek 'humor'. No malice whatsoever. Just good "HUMOR".
What do you call them? Nigel St. John-Smyth-Wickenham (but pronounced Snjinsmeyefwickm)?
Not sure if the Catholics in Northern Ireland would agree.
32. We don't have to buy our drinking water from other countries.
We'd have plenty of fresh water if we too only bathed once a week. Oh BTW, there's been a scientific breakthrough called Fluoride.
60. We (with a little minor assistance from our Froggy neighbours) conceived, planned, built and financed the Concorde, the finest, fastest & most beautiful airliner the world has ever seen.
Actually the U.S. was on track to build a larger SST (something bigger than a Pringles can with wings) but realized early on that it was not commercially viable and scrapped it. Financed? Amtrak looks like free enterprise compared to the Concorde.
We understand 'irony'....please extra starch in the shirt.
Possible replies:
Then, how do they change their underwear?
No, they go round to the club for that.
The best modern PM didn't even wear pants.
Mebbe not.
It was pretty hilarious to read your rebuttal,though I must add that India gained independence a full 3 years after WW2 & Britain did withstand Hitler's air barrage of 1940.Moreover,Blair hasn't stood for a 3rd term-that will only happen next year(& by current standings,he may end up losing).
How I love my country, my president, and our military. God bless all three.
About Blair losing next year.... If memory serves, they said the same thing about Howard and Bush.
*applause*
Personally, I don't believe this post was entirely TIC. I detect some bitterness. That said, I'm not going to respond to all 70, but here are my responses to a few of Lord Ha Ha's Post.
1. Michael Moore (He may be American, but he's treated like royalty in Britan.)
2. You don't have any custard (Maybe that's why we have teeth.)
3. You invented McDonalds. (At least we're not stupid enough to pay $6.00 for a Big Mac. However, given the alternative of "blood pudding", I can see why you line up to buy a greesy burger."
4, Our military are peacemakers. (So is France's military, what's your point. If you are compairing Basra to Baghdad, there is a reason the Brits were given Basra and the Marines were given Bagdad and Falusa. Everyone knew one would be relatively peacful, and the other would be a fight.)
5. We know a few things about the U.S., whereas you know next to nothing about the UK. (Everthing I need to know about the UK, I learned watching Braveheart.)
6. We have a sense of humour (and we even know how to spell it) (You had a sense of Humor, and then Monty Python broke up and Benny Hill died.)
7. We don't rely on therapy or Prozac to lead a "normal" life. (I'm not sure you rely on anything to lead a "normal" life. Unless you consider worshiping two teenage boys, whose only accomplishment is to be born normal.)
8. We understand irony. (So do we. For exmaple tossing out Curchill after he saved your collective arses, that's ironic.)
9. We can watch TV for ten full minutes without a 15 minute commercial break (That's only because no one wants to advertise on Al Jazzera North.)
10. We are 6 times less likely to be murdered in the UK than you are in the US.
11. We are 60 times less likely to be shot in the UK than you are in the US (We just publish these statistics to keep whimpy Europeans away.)
12. We don't feel that we have to own firearms to protect ourselves from our own government. (The traditions of American's owning firearms comes from a time when we had to worry about protecting ourselves from your government. If something works, stick with it.)
13. We aren't xenophobic. (Tell that to the French.)
14. Did I mention Michael Moore? (Hated in most of America, but Eurpoe's sweetheart.)
15. We don't expect people to like us or respect us, but some of them do. The U.S. seems to have got that back to front. (I'm not sure I understand this point, but I'll give it a stab. -- People may not like, us but a 200+ year history of confronting tyranny has earned a certain amont of respect..If you want the world to respect you, try acting like you've got a pair.)
16. British beer doesn't taste like diluted gnats urine. (I wouldn't know, I don't drink warm beer.)
17. We don't have rednecks (at least, if we do, they don't actually have red necks) (You do actually, you just call them Soccer Holligans.)
18. We can drive around corners and most of our cars can manage more than 10 miles to the gallon. (Of course, you still have to pay $100.00 to fill up your matchbox car. You export oil, and yet it takes a cosigner to buy a liter of gas and you wonder why your economy is the envy of Albania.)
19. We are intelligent enough to use a manual gearbox. (The truth is, you just can't afford an automatic transmission.)
20. We are not all obese. (Yeah right. I've been to England, and I saw plenty of people that could go eash on the chips.)
21. Yorkshire pudding. (Barbeque)
22. We are a net exporter of oil. (And yet it cost 3 times as much per gallon to fill up your car. Well, I guess somebody has to pay for that health care system that is the envy of Albania.)
23. We can sometimes see the other guys point of view. (Isn't that a quote from Neville Chamberlin.)
24. Our accents don't sound vulgar. (We don't have accents)
25. We don't hate people just because they are different to us. (Have you read the Guardian lately? I don't know which UK you live in.)
26. We have a prettier flag than you. (I'll have to take your word for it, being on the front lines, you don't get much time to look at the flags flying in the rear with the gear.)
27. We invented modern democracy, you just pay lip service to it. (Rule by "Divine right" is not democracy.)
28. We have more attractive women here per head of population than you have. (There you go talking about that Dame Edna again. I've been to England, I can only assume you've never been to America.)
29. We don't have the left wing stink hole that is Hollywood. (No, you have the left wing stink hole that is the U.K.)
30. We are capable of enjoying a film (translation: "movie") in which nobody gets killed every 3 minutes. (My wife likes chick flicks too.)
31. We don't eat raw corn. (Two words, Blood pudding.)
32. We don't have to buy our drinking water from other countries. (What would be the point, once you've been exposed to Mad Cow disease, it really doesn't matter if you happen to drink a glass tap water.)
33. Most of our population realise that there is a world beyond our borders. (Not what I've heard from other Europeans. Anyway, we can't help but be aware of the outside worle, since we spend billions processing their immigration applications.)
34. I live here. (I'm not sure I would call existing in a Socialist Utopia living.)
35. Our armed forces are capable of mounting an operation without playing rock music at 120 decibels, shouting "YEAH RIGHT!", or "OH DUDE!" every ten seconds and putting panties on the heads of captives. (I'm not sure, I would call watching American Marines engaging the enemy an operation. Anyway, since the last good music to come out of England pretty much ended when John met Yoko and Mick took up acting, I can understand why you would forgo the turnes.)
36. We enjoy steak & kidney pie. You are too pernickety to even try it and therefore don't know what you're missing. (I wouldn't brag about eating Kidney Pie. Sure, you do it, if you can't afford a Ribeye, but don't draw attention to it.)
37. Our students study geography. (How else would they learn about America)
38. We don't let our armed forces recruit in our schools. (We don't consider our armed forces something we need to protect our children from.)
39. We don't let our homosexuals recruit in our schools either. (Is there anybody left for them to recruit.)
40. We do let the boy scouts recruit in our schools. (Good.)
41. We are able to settle minor disputes without filling each other with lead. (Isn't that another Neville Chamberlin quote.)
42. We don't deny healthcare to a large proportion of our population because they can't pay. (Neither do we. I guess that's one of those things you don't know about America. Also, a three month wait for basic diagnostic procedures, or a doctors appointment is denial of health care.)
43. We don't react to any perceived minor critism or a question of our opinions by accusing the other party of being a "pinko-commie", a "faggot" or a "reee-tord" (It is "Re-tard", you commie pinko.)
44. Our teachers are able to deal with difficult young children without calling the police. (Why would you call a Bobby, just to watch him get beat up with his own stick.)
45. Our police (even if they were called to a school) wouldn't dream of tazaring a six year old boy or handcuffing a 10 year old girl (for bringing scissors to school - what's that about then?), nor of locking them up in a cell. (No, you would talk to him, while he continued cutting his wrists with sharp glass.)
46. Our teachers are able to deal with parents visiting their classrooms without kicking seven shades of excrement out of them. (You won't catch me defending most of our public school teachers. That's why our kids go to private schools.)
47. Michael Moore anybody? (He makes more money overseas than he does here.)
48. We play proper football, you....well, I needn't say any more on that subject. (Isn't that the game where the fans shoot each other at the end of the game.)
49. We don't have crooks calling themselves TV evangelists, because we are not dumb enough to send them any money. (I hear Oral Roberts raised 5 million pounds last year.)
50. We stopped having mullet haircuts in the 80's (So did we, get a T.V.)
51. We don't marry our cousins & call the offspring Billy-Bob or Mary-Lou (In Europe, incest is a privilege reserved for Royalty.)
52. We have toilet blocks older than your most historical sites (You did invent the crapper, I'll give you that. But old doesn't always = good.)
53. We have a pot plant at Kew Gardens which is older than the USA. (I don't know much about Pot plants, I'll take your word for that.)
54. While we don't have the first amendment, we do seem to respect it more than you do. (Not what I've seen on C-Span. Shouting down your political opponent seems par for the course in parliment.)
55. Michael Jackson.
56. We don't exaggerate our achievements in the 2nd World War. (You had achievements in the Second World War.)
57. You elected Bill Clinton.
58 You elected Bill Clinton, TWICE! (I mean, come on Yanks! Once is a mistake, twice was just stupid!) (He never got 50%, what can I say.)
59. We are capable of winning a sports event (oh yes we are!) without chanting "UK! UK! UK! UK! UK! UK! UK!" ceaselessly and intensely irritatingly over and over and over again. (We are capable of losing without filling oppsing fans full of lead.)
60. We (with a little minor assistance from our Froggy neighbours) conceived, planned, built and financed the Concorde, the finest, fastest & most beautiful airliner the world has ever seen. (I'm not sure, running an operation in the red for 20 years is something to brag about.)
61. You, in a typical fit of petty jealousy and America-firstism, strangled commercial supersonic flight at birth by banning Concorde from your airports (and thus markets) on ridiculous environmental grounds (possibly the only time the US has objected to anything for that reason), then announced your own supersonic airline project (which never got built - while even the USSR managed to produce a Concorde rip-off) (Have some pride, don't blame the Concord's financial failure on the U.S.)
62. We do not regard war as a spectator sport. (Good thing for you, we don't either.)
63. We, a small nation, in the space of a few generations, built the largest Empire the world has ever seen, and then gave it all back. Just for laughs. You, a very large nation, have attempted to dominate the world for the last 50 years and have failed, miserably. (What a lode of crap. You didn't give anything back, it was taken from you. We on the other hand never aspired to dominate third world countries, only to enlighten them with our culture.)
64. We, while still retaining our patriotism, are able to appreciate and applaud the achievements of sportsmen, politicians, scientists and businessmen from other countries. (There are sportsmen in other countries. We applaud the achievements of foreign politicians. Tony Blair is very popular in the U.S. As is Prime Minister Howard.)
65. We have our own language that we ourselves invented. You have pinched ours and devalued it appallingly. (You took a perfectly good language, let the french corrupt it, and have left it up to the U.S. to fix. P.S. English isn't the universal language, because of the English.)
66. We have given the world, modern democracy, law & order, the English language, the industrial revolution, the world wide web, penicillin, the jet engine and a host of other social and technological breakthroughs too numerous to mention. You have given the world....Mickey Mouse. (You have also apparently given the world the big fat lie. The internet, was a U.S. Defense Dept. Creation. I'm those were British engines in the Me-262. If we had the clap rate that Britan does, we would have invented penicillin too. By the way, where are most of the drugs in British Drug Stores developed.)
67. Is there a Michael Moore in the house? (You Brits are obsessed that that Fat loser.)
68. We play cricket, perhaps not the most exciting sport out there I grant you but nonetheless a gentlemanly pursuit. You have baseball. Nuff said. (You have cricket, Nuff said. Again, not something to brag about.)
69. You, often claim, in your brusque, bombastic manner to be "the greatest nation on Earth". We smile silently but say nothing because we KNOW that we are. (You may have a point, if you limit "on earth" to include only Britan and France.)
70. No British Prime Minister has ever been caught with his pants down in 10 Downing Street. (True, but No American leader has chopped his wife head for having a daughter.)
& one for the pot...
71. We are British. Don-cha-know! (At least you're not French, that's worth somehting.
P.S. Don't miss the deadline for completing the online "Diversity lottery" imigration application.
The British electorate have been more leftward(& internationalist) in orientation than the American & Aussie ones as is seen by the popularity or lack of it of the Iraq war there.You could blame it on their falling moral standards(in public life as seen by the Blunkett baby case) or rising Slammic population.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.