Sex: Sometimes It's Inconceivable! -(history of condom collections! hilarious!)

CHRONWATCH.COM ^ | MAY 10, 2005 | BURT PRELUTSKY

[ken5050]

Best hobby ever invented..collecting beer cans and/or beer bottles..

[Theresawithanh]

BUMP for laughs!

I also believe that God looks down from Heaven and laughs out loud at what we humans do!

[JOHANNES801]

Theres propably some rubbers and a few empty beer cans in whats left of my 64 chevy.

[cloud8]

You do come up with them :)

I had a condom collection once. When I was a teenager. Kept em for years. When it was time to...show my collection, I had to buy some new ones. ;-)

[RightOnline]

Absolutely hilarious. Never heard of this guy (the author), but he had me cracking up through the whole thing. :)

Of course, as a father of seven, I'm not one to comment on contraception.........ahem..............

[martin_fierro]

Yup. That's a lemon there.

[Charles Martel]

Dare I ask about the chicken bone?

[SF Republican]

Beer bottles were a great collection; I even had a Faubacher

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Yup. That's a lemon there.

Acidic liquid on a rag or sponge is a very old form of contraception.

[Caesar Soze]

Another claim for fame for CWRU.

[GSWarrior]

Old condom tins can fetch quite a price on the collector's market.

[MaxMax]

LOL it's a chicken bone on a string.
Not sure if I would want to know.

[martin_fierro]

Yup.

THE LEMON SONG
Led Zeppelin

I should have quit you long time ago,
Yeah, long time ago.
Oh yeah, long time ago.
I wouldn’t be here, my children,
Down on this killin’ floor.

I should have listened, baby, to my second mind
I should have listened, baby, to my second mind
Everytime I go away and leave you, darling,
You send me the blues way down the line.

Babe, treat me right, baby, oh my my my
People tellin’ me baby can’t be satisfied;
They try to worry me baby
But they never hurt you in my eyes.

Said, people worry I can’t keep you satisfied.
Let me tell you baby,
You ain’t nothin but a two-bit, no-good jive.

Went to sleep last night, worked as hard as I can,
Bring home my money, you take my money, give it to another man;

I should have quit you, baby, such a long time ago,
I wouldn’t be here with all my troubles
Down on this killing floor.

Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg,
Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg,
The way you squeeze my lemon,
I..I’m gonna fall right out of bed, yeah.

Hey! (conversation between robert plant & guitar)
Baby baby baby...
I’m gonna leave my children down on this killin floor.

[ken5050]

I think so..my fave wasa the St Pauli Girli bottle..neat mechanism AND a great label..

[Charles Martel]

Uh huh, even older than the post-coital Coca-Cola douche.

Kind of makes you see Lemon Coke in a different light, huh?

[CHARLITE]

"Never heard of this guy (the author), but he had me cracking up through the whole thing." :)

Burt Prelutsky is a retired Hollywood screen writer. He wrote for some of the biggest "golden age" TV shows, and has a whole lot of "material" on "inside Hollywood!"He is a friend of mine, and lives nearby, here in the San Fernando Valley, outside of L.A.

Thanks for your comments!

Char :)

[MD_Willington_1976]

use half a lemon as a cervical cap, the lemon juice is acidic, it kills sperm...

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Dare I ask about the chicken bone?

IUD I think.

They also used river pebbles worn smooth.

[AGreatPer]

I never collected bottles but I am one of the largest beer can collections in America, over 35,000 to be a general count.

I started collecting over 45 years ago and have all of these empty cans and don't know what to do with them.

If anyone wants some of them, please come and get them. I want no $. Get them out of here.