First chimp fossil unearthed

Nature Magazine ^ | 31 August 2005 | Michael Hopkin

[Doctor Stochastic]

Years ago, a regulation was promulgated by some bureaucracy that was supposed to read: No Tariff on Foreign Fruit-Plants."

For a few days it read: "No Tariff on Foreign Fruit, Plants."

[VadeRetro]

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I don't know."

-- Some actor in Animal Crackers

[PatrickHenry]

Commas in headlines can be important:

Weird, man dies.
Weird man dies.

[Doctor Stochastic]

Woman comes home and comments to the butler:

John, remove my gloves.

John, remove my shoes.

John, remove my stockings.

John, remove my skirt.

John, remove my blouse.

John, remove my underclothes.

John, don't ever let me catch you wearing them again.

[VadeRetro]

That was good for a sudden belly-laugh!

[PatrickHenry]

Chimp, man related says Vade.
Chimp man related says Vade.

[VadeRetro]

"First Chimp Fossil Unearthed" -- PatrickHenry.
First chimp fossil unearthed: PatrickHenry.

[bobdsmith]

"Get away from me, you dirty ape!"

"Come here and have a bannana"

[Pharmboy]

Now you've done it! You've p*ssed off every orangutan on the planet...

[Gumlegs]

We took some pictures of the native girls, but the weren't developed so we're going back again in a couple of weeks.

[VadeRetro]

Of course, in Alabama the tusks are loose-ah!

[Gumlegs]

... but that's entirely irrelephant to what I was talking about.

[Shazbot29]

Scientists who study the extinct creatures that once roamed the Earth are called paleontologists. If you were to watch a paleontologist at work, you would probably see him on his hands and knees, methodically and painstakingly examining the surface of the ground. This is because he is looking for fossils, or else he has lost a contact lens. A fossil is any trace left behind by a living thing. Usually the term refers to mineralized bones, but it can also include teeth, eggs, footprints and unpaid phone bills. By careful analysis, paleontologists can often reconstruct an entire animal from just a tiny fragment of bone. (below)

This is from Tom Weller's Science Made Stupid, one of the funniest books ever written.

[b_sharp]

"First chimp fossil, of course, not first chimp fossil, which would be the more important find."

Trying to prove the theory of amphibology theory are we?

[b_sharp]

I found a dollar bill walking down the street.

[Gumlegs]

I saw a peanut stand/I heard a rubber band/I laughed till I though I'd cry ...

[js1138]

REQUIRED NOTICE: This account meets the statutory and regulatory requirements of all U.S. state, county and municipal school boards and districts for works dealing with the origins of man and is warranted to be suitable for use as a teaching tool in accordance with the Guidlines for De Facto Ideological Uniformity of the American Textbook Publishers Association.

[LiteKeeper]

YEC INTREP

[Just mythoughts]

Thank you very much, and it is very funny.

[Alamo-Girl]

Thanks for the ping!