Advertising mag asks Ann Coulter to kill herself

Advertising Age ^ | 6/12/06

[MrCruncher]

YES SIR.

[finnman69]

Media Guy's WIKYpedia: Would It Kill You to Stop It?
And We Mean You, Conde Nast, NYT and Ann Coulter, Among Others
By Simon Dumenco

Published: June 12, 2006

Wherein Media Guy asks repeat offenders in the media world to give us a break already.

Would it kill you, Time Inc., to get off your high horse and stop pretending that making donations to charity to secure exclusive celebrity pictures isn't the moral equivalent of paying sources? First, earlier this year, People cut a reported $400,000 check to one of Angelina Jolie's favorite charities to get a cover shot of her pregnant. Then, just over a week ago, in a deal brokered by Getty Images, the magazine reportedly donated more than 10 times that amount to other Jolie-endorsed charities to secure shots of the actual spawn. I'm sorry, but if there's a check being written that benefits a news figure or that news figure's designated beneficiary, it's checkbook journalism, pure and simple.

Would it kill you, NBC, to actually think through what you're doing in the viral-video space? Earlier this year, the network started demanding that sites like YouTube take down clips from its shows-even though YouTube's distribution of the Andy Samberg/Chris Parnell digital short "Lazy Sunday" is credited with single-handedly reviving buzz about "Saturday Night Live." Last week, NBC launched a $1.99-a-day Jay Leno monologue-and-sketch iTunes video service. Instead of nickel-and-diming hard-core fans of Leno and other NBC shows (fewer than 200,000 clips from various NBC shows are reportedly sold or given away through iTunes each month), the network could be offering a sampling opportunity to millions of potential viewers. It's pointless and shortsighted to try to put a short leash on viral video.

Would it kill you, Britney Spears, to not only stop taking your sweet ol' time dumping Kevin Federline (what's the hold up?), but to issue a blanket apology for inflicting him -- and his upcoming rap record -- on us?

Would it kill you, American retailers, to stop pretending that semi-stylish starlets are automatically design geniuses -- and would it kill you, fashion journalists, to stop aiding and abetting this phenomenon? Last week when the "stuff by hilary duff" (lower-case brand names are so adorable!) line of clothing for "tweens" was announced -- with retailers including Target and Sears lining up to stock it -- Women's Wear Daily conducted an extended interview with Duff so that she could explain "the trends behind each of the outfits and her vision for the line." For the love of God! She is 18 freaking years old! She sings songs with lyrics like "Why not / Take a crazy chance / Why not / Do a crazy dance." Words to live by.

Would it kill you, New York Times, to admit that your much-hyped "Market Gauges" pages -- the successor to the stock tables --are a failed experiment? Nice try, but a static collection of charts and graphs and stats rendered in gray-scale is useless. Just send everyone to your interactive, real-time, colorful, online market-data array at nytimes.com, and be done with it. You're wasting your time, our time and newsprint.

Would it kill you, Conde Nast, to cut the self-congratulatory blather surrounding your distant-future business magazine? Glad you finally settled on a name -- Portfolio. Yippee. But with the hype dial already cranked up to 11, you're straying dangerously close to Talk magazine overkill territory. And since when is underscoring how excruciatingly slooooowwwww you are a good idea? April 24, 2007? Hollywood blockbusters with casts of thousands get made quicker than Portfolio. Chill out on the drum-beating and focus your energy on making a brilliant magazine, please.

Would it kill you, "Lost" writers, to arc out a storyline for the next three seasons that feels like it's actually going somewhere before we all just write off your increasingly daft show as this decade's "X Files"? So each bizarre plot twist or cliffhanger or clue-crumb that gets dropped might actually pay off at some point?

Would it kill you, "Godless" author Ann Coulter, to do us all a favor and kill yourself? (Oh, well, yeah, I guess it would kill you.)

After her recent rabidly hateful, foaming-at-the-mouth, sub-human "Today" show appearance -- in which she reiterated her assertion that 9/11 widows are "enjoying their husband's deaths" -- even her former supporters began to fantasize about how much nicer the world would be if it were Coulterless.

~ ~ ~
E-mail: dumenco@gmail.com

[lowbridge]

bump

[MrCruncher]

I love it.

[1Old Pro]

Coulter is brilliant taking a page from Madonna's marketing book and becoming outrageous.....this will really help her bank account. She'll go from a small time millionare to a HUGe multi-millionare.

[txroadhawg]

I hope this is her best selling book yet. I'd would just kill the left when it's on the NYT top 10 list!

[Constitution Day]

BUMP

[frankiep]

Let's see. A New York scumocrat says that Chuckie Schumer should shoot Bush in the head. Books have been written about assassinating Bush. And now leftists are advocating that Ann Coulter kill herself. But they are the party of peace and tolerance?

This kind of stuff MUST be used by conservatives to show just how psychotic and violent leftists are. They are dangerous beyond words.

[A CA Guy]

They should show Ann how they want it done by killing themselves first.

[Reactionary]

The seething Stalinist fanatics are upset?

What a comedy.

[blitzgig]

Isn't it great? They can't handle her arguments at all!

[RandallFlagg]

The NYT list isn't squat. The Amazon list goes by SALES.

I also pointed this out to the libs at Denver's Craig's List. They are STILL-a SCREAMIN'!
LOL!

[Paul Ross]

They should show Ann how they want it done by killing themselves first.

LOL!

Leftist want some Kooooool-Aiiid?!

[melancton]

Interesting responses. Coulter gets a pass for her vile comments, but the author of this clearly tongue-in-cheek article is considered a jerk.    

[blitzgig]

"I love it."

I'll gladly second that! Here's to Ann the Awesome!

[oldleft]

Again, no lefties got upset over this Ted Rall cartoon.

[Moby Grape]

You are right that the left can dish it out but not take it....NONE of these "concerned" voices on the left offered ANY objections to Republicans being called NAZIS, or being described as lacking chromosomes (as Al Gore said).

They didn't howl when off Broadway plays once suggested that Cardnial O'Conner should be burned alive....I didn't hear any such dismay expressed by these "sensitive" enlighted folk when SNL made fun of the physical appearance of Linda Tripp. Not one peep from these high roaders when Juanita Broaddrick told of being RAPED by their democratic hero. (I guess I'm a little weird, but I think ACTUAL rape is worse than words).

[LS]

I was not originally goig to buy tyhis book, not because I don't like Coulter, but because I knew what she would say. But after the criticism, I had to buy it and support the cause.

[sageb1]

Correction: Coulter gets a pass for her truthful comments.

[BufordP]

[Spoken with a Mr. Rogers voice]: I think the neighborhood would be more neighborly if we placed our loving hands around Ms Coulter's throat and gently squeezed until she attained a lovely shade of blue.

This is what we get from the compassionate left. It's time for the pansy conservatives to stop fretting over Ann crossing the line and unapologetically kick arse!