Posted on 11/15/2005 8:50:35 AM PST by TheStickman
THANK you! I just can't stand the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church in this area. So much good, but so many bad leftovers from the "selling indulgences" days. If I made a promise before God, I am the ultimate hypocrite for saying :Well, Uh...I didn't mean it. God knows what you meant.
Sorry for the poster's anguish - truly - but get on with life, get married in some church that isn't Catholic, and mean what you say this time.
So somebody held a gun to your head?
>>I can't see the case here.<<
And you won't because I'm not going to air my dirty laundry from 20 years ago in these forums. Also, if you read my OP, you will see there is not question about the need for an annulment. No question about Church teaching regarding the matter.
If you are converting currently to the RCC, it would seem necessary to obtain an annulment to marry your second wife in the RCC.
Problem. Are you fulfilling you obligations to your first wife and any children from that marriage?
If you have, or are, not my question would be whether you are mature enough to enter into a sacramental marriage in the RCC.
???
Plenty of people attempt to marry with defective consent. Someone who promises to "love and honor ... forsaking all others" with the unspoken intent to commit adultery if he gets bored (as the ex-spouse of someone in my family once did) isn't contracting a valid marriage. Someone who promises "'til death do us part" with the unspoken intent that "If you convert to Catholicism, I'll drop you like a rock" (as the ex-wife of a friend of mine did) isn't contracting a valid marriage.
So, what do you want the church to do? Say, "Jesus was wrong, divorce is just dandy"? (The de facto answer for a lot of Protestants.) Say, "Hey, you married someone who effectively lied when they spoke their vows -- too bad for you, sucka!"?
I don't see any hypocrisy in simply recognizing the fact that many people do not contract a valid marriage.
>>If you are converting currently to the RCC, it would seem necessary to obtain an annulment to marry your second wife in the RCC.<<
Agreed. That's why I began the process.
>>Problem. Are you fulfilling you obligations to your first wife and any children from that marriage?<<
Not a problem at all. Yes.
"And you won't because I'm not going to air my dirty laundry from 20 years ago in these forums. "
OK. No problem. Yet here you are, asking for prayers, expecting others to support your quest. But...they have to do that without knowing whether you have adequate grounds for an RCC annulment.
Defect of Consent. OK. You were too young to consent to the previous marriage? One of you was mentally defective?
Good luck with all that....
Congratulations! I am very happy to read that you are converting to my Church, and I hope you've found a warm welcome there--please add mine to it.
There may be things in life that are worthwhile, simple and easy as well, but not too many in my experience. ;-D
God bless you and your wife-to-be with years of joy in each other, and may He smooth the path to your blessing by your new Church. I'm going to keep you in prayers just for some extra blessings, FRiend.
Thank you.
Then may God confer on you and your marriage all the graces in abundance.
My friend's father-in-law, a first generation Sicillian, also a member of the same church went to visit the priest and stated that, as he understood it, the priest was refusing to baptize his grandson and asked in a very serious tone if that was, in fact, the case.
The baptism was scheduled for the following Sunday. True story.
Oh, you're very very welcome.
My son and his wife married at the age of 17 (both of them) as soon as they graduated from HS. He could not get a dispensation for a Catholic wedding, due to their age. The local parish priest is the one who said he wouldn't recommend it, because such youthful marriages often don't last. So they were married by a Protestant minister.
Five years later, while he was in Korea, she took the marriage preparation classes, and when he came home on leave, they were married in the Church. Of course, they had a baby by then...;-D
They were married 15 years this past summer, have two boys, he has two undergraduate and one graduate degree, they are regular churchgoers, they are happy people, and are working on an adoption presently.
Things don't always work out seamlessly, but they DO work out, and I have the conviction that your situation will too.
Again, God bless! ;-D
>>If you are converting currently to the RCC, it would seem necessary to obtain an annulment to marry your second wife in the RCC.<<
Agreed. That's why I began the process
So your "beloved wife" you referred to is who?
Hang in there. Best of luck.
Did you have any children from your first marriage?
>>So your "beloved wife" you referred to is who?<<
My wife that I married in 1997--6 years before I has ever attended my 1st Mass or even entered a Catholic church for the 1st time.
So what is the reason for an annulment? Sounds like a big game to me. Can they also make you into a virgin?
"My wife that I married in 1997--6 years before I has ever attended my 1st Mass or even entered a Catholic church for the 1st time"
I assume that you and this second wife are now living as "brother and sister" as the Pope asks?
Thank you, very much.
>>I assume that you and this second wife are now living as "brother and sister" as the Pope asks?<<
You may assume whatever you wish.
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