Ex- Jesuit "marries" Ex-Benedictine monk

Closed Cafeteria ^ | July 17, 2006 | Gerald Augustinus

[ArrogantBustard]

Great Chief Tobaccoshop better watch his back.

[AnAmericanMother]

That's why he wants out plenty heap quick.

[ArrogantBustard]

three fellow Jews and I struggled outside to mount the huppah.

Yikes! In the context of this article, that sentence reads like they were trying to do something unspeakable to each other. Or something.

[NYer]

This was hilarious (between the urge to vomit of course), but I must confess that I was disappointed to see that it wasn't Dan Schutte and his boyfriend.....maybe we could finally get his abhorent music out of Catholic Churches if he did this.

I thought it was hilarious. They did mention a monk musician ... possibly John Michael Talbot?

[OpusatFR]

"When the communion part of the ceremony rolled around, the priest in Michael took over; he grabbed the plate of bread and held it aloft.

“Bread! What does it make you think of?”

Answers poured forth: “Earth.” “Seeds.”

“Our bodies!” Michael cried."

Our bodies? Glad you left the seminary before ordination guy. The idea of a consecrated priest holding aloft a host and declaring, "This is my body," instead of "This is My Body," is just nauseating.

I pray every day that God protects his consecrated ones throughout the world and restores the Church as His Shining Bride.

[Convert from ECUSA]

Aw jeeeeze....bartender, bartender!! Yeah, over here! Send a bottle of Tanqueray down here with a Pepto chaser. Glasses?! Nah, just send the bottles. What?!?!? Why?!?! Lawsa mercy, a couple of ex-we-ain't-sure-if-they-ever-were-Catholic-in-the-first-place Philistine poofters just "married" each other! Huh?!? Yeah, really, why didn't they just go down the street to the local episcopagan temple and have the "ceremony" there; episcopagan "priests" and "bishops" will "marry" any kind of pairing these days.

There are days when I wish we could take nut burgers like these and their supporters pack 'em on a plane and parachute them right over the lines between Hezbollah and the IDF.

[OneWingedShark]

>Geeeeeeeez, I'm nauseated.

I second that nausea... Especially the line about being "showered with a Jesus-free blessing by a minister friend"; which is particularly absurd because it was called a 'Christian' wedding. It's is a mark of dishonor and disgrace, in my opinion, that these supposedly doctrinally learned men would do such a thing while pretending to be Christian... but then, I'm not the one who will be judging them and assigning the accountability for their deeds.

[OneWingedShark]

"I pray every day that God protects his consecrated ones throughout the world and restores the Church as His Shining Bride."

That is a good prayer. I may just add it into mine.

[livius]

I think Dan and his paramour are already "married." But maybe gay men have to do their renewal of vows on an accelerated schedule, so it might be time...

You do know that Dan Schutte is music director and director of student life at USF, a fine Jesuit institution, don't you? What a role model!

[NYer]

Send a bottle of Tanqueray down here with a Pepto chaser.

Much better ... that sure beats Maalox.

[Convert from ECUSA]

:)) You said it!

[AnAmericanMother]

Now . . . . for the GOOD news (yes, there is some good news here!)

First of all, it was a "little chapel" - no word anywhere that it was a Catholic church.

And, more importantly, an EX-seminarian . . . and an EX-monk.

25 years ago they would have been, if you'll pardon the expression, boring from within.

I think this is a sign that progress is being made in weeding out the "lavender mafia" from the seminaries and religious life.

Better late than never. Thank you, Papa Benedict!

[ArrogantBustard]

“Michael and Randy don’t want you just to witness their ceremony,” said the minister, a petite lesbian with spiky platinum-tipped hair.

Further good news: The bizarre critter officiating at this perverse ceremony was in no way, shape, or form a Catholic Priest.

[AnAmericanMother]

My money's on U-U, UCC or Episcopalian.

[Mrs. Don-o]

"They did mention a monk musician ... possibly John Michael Talbot?"

Nope, Talbot is a Catholic in good standing (doesn't preach heresy, doesn't perform blasphemy) and a proven heterosexual. The following is a quote from his Wikipedia article:

He formed his own community, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity at Little Portion Hermitage. It is an "integrated monastic community," with celibate brothers and sisters, singles, and families. He later married (with church permission), Sr. Viola, one of the nuns in the community. He is General Minister and Spiritual Father.

This is not a canonical community, so there was no breaking of canonical vows involved; nor is Talbot's leadership position canonical. But neither is it schismatic or heretical: it's just, I think, what they call a "pious association" --- and the marriage part was a real Catholic marriage.

Which is to say, Sr. Viola is an actual gal, and they were both actually free to marry. (Just to keep things straight around here!)

[Convert from ECUSA]

"boring from within."

[Convert from ECUSA]

" petite lesbian with spiky platinum-tipped hair"

Bartender....another bottle of Tanqueray and another bottle of Pepto. I was just reminded of a sight I'd hoped I'd forgotten!

[FJ290]

They promised to cherish each other, fight side by side for justice and dedicate their marriage to protecting the earth. Then Michael looked at Randy and said, “Randy, I would die for you.”send my soul to hell for you."

There. That's better.

[MoochPooch]

This reminds me of some of the feminist Passover Haggadahs we have in the library where I work. The "liturgy" and "rituals" were unintentionally hilarious. Though normally I might have -- or should have -- barfed right after page 2, I used to enjoy reading them because they were so off the wall.

[AnAmericanMother]

Stolen from A.P. Herbert (although the double entendre wasn't exactly the same when HE used it.)

If you like your humor British and as dry as a good martini, you might look into him.