Posted on 01/05/2019 6:27:03 AM PST by Salvation
Some years ago, I had to explain to a divorced female friend that her new boyfriend's desire to hang out alone with her 16 year old daughter was not because he wanted to learn to be a good future step dad.
Hmmm... I wonder if alcohol was involved in the divorce? Often is.
Last couple of weeks I have been watching PD Live. The drug and alcohol wasted lives is rampant. I have to hand it to the police officers having to deal with that. I quit watching
And the damage done to the children by two people who are miserable together sticking together for the sake of a legal construct?
I always ask my clients if the new guy is interested in them or in their children.
...And the damage done to the children by two people who are miserable together sticking together for the sake of a legal construct?
Legal Construct,
odd words to use when referencing an Oath,
that when given to God, can only be released by God
Perhaps some marriages do not include Oaths to God
I agree and I say that as a one time divorced mom. Unfortunately mothers tend to coddle and nurture. They need the father’s influence to “toughen up” to gain real world experience and life skills.
We have the gov’t and the divorce industry outlawing discipline as a whole; as a result the “single” moms ladle dangerous mind altering drugs down their children’s throats in lieu of discipline; especially the boys.
Almost all school shooters come from a family where more than likely the father was pushed out of the home (search on parental alienation), and are on ADHD/ anti depressant meds (children who are simply placated and never taught delayed gratification are more likely to be easily frustrated and depressed).
I was raised in a strict discipline oriented two parent household and brought those principles with me when rearing my children. Both are grown, in their thirties, married long term and successful, contributing members of society having never been in trouble with the law, etc.
There are huge incentives for women to divorce or live separately from the children’s father. . . spousal support/alimony, child support that often goes WELL beyond age 18, especially in BLUE states.
The pull is almost irresistible; no need to put up with father’s idiosyncrasies when you can divorce him, alienate the children from him and then participate in the biggest wealth redistribution scheme/debtor’s prison/indentured servitude operation; the gov’t sponsored “Child” (Matriarchy) Support Enforcement Agency and “family” courts. This is done by continuing to spread the myth of the “deadbeat dad who walks away from his family” (TM)
My husband hasn’t seen his children in ten years due to his ex-wife pushing him out, poisoning the children against him, then impoverishing him through “child” support. His eldest is 22, middle is 20 and youngest is 16. He is still paying for the middle and youngest although the 20 year old is NOT in school nor is she working. All three children are complete academic failures, drug addicts and are going no where fast.
Must be an old commercial. Today it’d be dad’s gay lover and mom’s yoga instructor.
They are not sticking together for the sake of a "legal construct". They are staying together for the sake of the children they both freely volunteered to bring into the world.
And perhaps, in the process, they could discover how to make each other happy.
“If people realized the gravity of the vows they make before God when they marry, divorce would never even be considered an option”
I am at odds with the in-laws because I “dared” to place a stipulation on being the celebrant at a niece’s wedding.
I was asked to marry them in lieu of a JP or minister. I thought about not doing it, then I told I would be happy to, under one condition. I told my niece and fiancé (who are in a modern pre-marital living arrangement) in person, in thier living room that if they wanted me as the officiant they would have to be baptised. Which means talking to a pastor, under standing the relationship involved, and knowing that baptisms often entail foundational instruction and perhaps even becoming members of an organized church. In their area of WV this would probably be the case. And they would have to attends pre-marital counseling (my wifes idea).
So.... fast forward 13 or 14 months I get the text, they have a venue, date and the retentive little details are coming together for a perfect celebration of their life together... but nothing concerning our conditional agreement... conveniently forgotten. I reiterated. Another day or two passed... I started getting snippy little texts from the aunt’s and from the mom...
Okay, we are down to 10 months, with lots of things to accomplish. It is borderline crunch time. They have let an adequate window of opportunity pass them by and I am not interested in oficuating a “churchy fraud” in lieu of God Blessing their marriage. I reminded them about my original stipulation. There is no other option. It is the very least I can ask. I take my obligations very seriously and I take my relationship with the Lord very seriously and will not make a mockery out of the institution of marraige that the Lord has placed before us.
I am about to be divorced after 30 years. The pain I feel is excruciating.
I dread the thought of her getting remarried and I dread being alone. It is a painful experience and time right now.
Sad story about your husband’s situation.
God bless him.
May he pray for his ex-wife. (Pray for your enemies.)
Look up Beginning Experience online or on my FR homepage.
In a couple to six months — go on one of their weekends.
That damage is preferred to deeper heart-rending divorce which children never recover from, destroys their capacity for trust and relationships. From benefits to kids, divorce almost never justified. It is nature’s plan after all. But you might prefer the psychological, it’s in literature, divorce is waning in fashion as people see the horror of it.
I feel for you Bro. Been there, done that (2X).
No virtual man hug can soften the blow, but do know—
You will survive.
And you are not alone. So many men, aged 40-65, in this country have gone through it. It’s an epidemic.
I do child abuse work and family law and I agree with what you say in certain circumstances. In others, divorce is far preferable. The reason for divorce -— it prevents murders.
It’s not a “legal construct”, it is a family.
And if you can’t get along with one person, you probably won’t get along with someone else.
Which is why for a lot of people divorce is like potato chips, they can’t have just one.
I do child abuse work and family law and I agree with what you say in certain circumstances. In others, divorce is far preferable. The reason for divorce -— it prevents murder.
No kid wants to be a member of a blended family. But that’s no reason to stay married. Get out of that ridiculous legal contract and stay single . Better yet. MEN!! Do not marry!! There is absolutely nothing, zero, nada in it for you. No upside whatsoever.
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