Posted on 08/16/2007 2:57:05 PM PDT by blam
I loved that show!
Just as likely they'll wait however many years or decades it takes until the smoke clears (literally) and then come back to conquer the few humans remaining on the planet.
on the other hand humans have pretty much perfected the process to destroy civilization without asteroids. It’s called liberalism and Islam.
Actually, we need three arks.
On the first ark (the ‘A’ ark), we can put all the adventurers, heroes, and builders of society.
The second ark (the ‘B’ ark) can contain the various middle men; the telephone sanitizers, salesmen, fashion consultants, etc.
On the third ark (the ‘C’ ark), we can put all the scientists, engineers, and thinkers that make society go.
Then we just need to make certain the ‘B’ ark is sent first so that everything will be ready when the other two arks arrive.
If it comes to having to protect our congresional leaders, I say let them all jump into their cars and head out of DC ... the ones with the biggest and best will make it!
I built a model of the Eagle in the 70’s, but I don’t think it was that company.
Catastrophism Ping.
DON’T PANIC!
In a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements
for a dwelling space could be provided.
PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
But they couldn’t come out for a hundred
years!
VON KLUTZ
(smiling wisely)
Mister President, man is an amazingly adaptable
creature. After all, the conditions would be
far superior to those, say, of the Nazi concentration
camps, where there is ample evidence most of the
wretched creatures clung desperately to life.
Although the PRESIDENT seems unconvinced, looking around the
room, it is apparent VON KLUTZ’s proposal has not fallen upon
deaf ears.
VON KLUTZ
(smiling modestly)
It would not be difficult. Nuclear reactors
could provide power almost indefinitely.
Greenhouses could maintain plant life.
Animals could be bred and slaughtered.
A quick survey would have to be made of all
the suitable minesites in the country, but
I shouldn’t be surprised if several hundred
thousand of our people could be accomodatedd.
Every nation would undoubtedly follow suit.
PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
But who would be chosen?
VON KLUTZ
A special committee would have to be appointed
to study and recommend the criteria to be
employed, but off-hand, I should say that in
addition to the factors of youth, health, sexual
fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of
necessary skills, it would be absolutely vital
that our top government and military men be
included, to impart the required principles of
leadership and tradition.
The arrow has not missed its mark, and there is an outbreak of
sober, nodding heads.
VON KLUTZ
(laughs, distastefully)
Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh?
There would be much time and little to do.
With the proper breeding techniques, and starting
with a ratio of, say, ten women to each man,
I should estimate the progeny of the original
group of 200,000 would emerge a hundred years
later as well over a hundred million. Naturally
the group would have to continually engage in
enlarging the original living space.
Much serious judgment is brought to bear around the table. Pencils
are brought into action.
VON KLUTZ
When they emerge, a good deal of present real
estate and machine tools will still be recoverable,
if they are moth-balled in advance. I would guess
they could then work their way back to our present
gross national product within twenty years.
PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
But, look here, Von Klutz. Won’t this nucleus
of survivors be so shocked, grief-stricken, and
anguished that they will envy the dead, and indeed,
not wish to go on living?
VON KLUTZ
Certainly not, sir. When they go down into the
mine, everyone else will still be alive. They will
have no shocking memories, and the prevailing
emotion should be one of a nostalgia for those
VON KLUTZ (Cont)
left behind, combined with a spirit of bold
curiousity for the adventure ahead.
GENERAL SCHMUCK
(judiciously)
You mentioned the ratio of ten women to each
man. Wouldn’t that necessitate abandoning the
so-called monogamous form of sexual relation-
ship?
VON KLUTZ
Regrettably, yes. But it is a sacrifice required
for the future of the human race. I hasten to
add that since each man will be required to
perform prodigious service along these lines,
the women will have to be selected for their
sexual characteristics, which will have to be
of a highly stimulating order.
AMBASSADOR DE SADE
(enthusiastically)
Von Klutz, I must confess you have an astonish-
ingly good idea there.
No “Space 1999” references?
Imagine what we could have done if it wasn't for these murdering scum.
No hijacking here. Recall the old joke: “Why are there no Muslims on ‘Star Trek’? “Because it’s set in the future...”
Anything that is going to impact the earth to that degree has a pretty good chance of causing serious collateral damage to the Moon as well.
I say further - like Alpha Centauri.
That is a horrible, un-PC joke. Which is why it's so funny.
Tradition says this has been done before in some form. Although the records seem to have ended up in religious text, the story of Superman is exactly this story. Now that the do-nothing generation is beginning to retire, perhaps the next generations can see the way clear to develop outer space, which is the way this should be done rather than creating some ludicrously inadequate preservation colony on the moon. The best way to develop outer space is to repeal the Treaty and free up investment capital.
Tradition says this has been done before in some form. Although the records seem to have ended up in religious text, the story of Superman is exactly this story. Now that the do-nothing generation is beginning to retire, perhaps the next generations can see the way clear to develop outer space, which is the way this should be done rather than creating some ludicrously inadequate preservation colony on the moon. The best way to develop outer space is to repeal the Treaty and free up investment capital.
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