Free Republic

#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd. # 9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't. # 8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. # 7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. # 6. I...

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man. The young punk has spiked, multi-colored, green, purple, and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers. The old man glares at the young punk for him for the next ten miles, as the bus travels across the city. Finally, the punk looks across at...

An elderly man, from Georgia, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. He opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will...

Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging” grey cells active!  1. Johnny's mother had three children.  The first child was named April. The second child was named May.  What was the third child's name?    2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers.  What does he weigh?    3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?    4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?    5....

BALTIMORE -- Imagine being frozen in time as a baby forever. It sounds impossible, but it describes Brooke Greenberg. The Baltimore-area girl may look like a baby, but she's nearly a teenager. In most respects, Brooke looks and acts like your average 6-month-old baby -- she weighs 13 pounds and she is 27 inches long. Brooke Greenberg, 12, weighs 13 pounds and is 27 inches long. But Brooke is actually 12 years old, reported WBAL-TV in Baltimore. Brooke doesn't age. Her syndrome remains undiagnosed and unnamed, and as far as doctors can tell, she is the only one in the...

Ageless athlete may not be far offPenn's research into a synthetic gene has wide implications for sports.By Frank FitzpatrickInquirer Staff WriterYou know all those steroid-laced sluggers, blood-doped swimmers, and hormonally enhanced weightlifters who people worry are ruining sports?They're just minor-league fears.The real nightmare is lurking inside tiny cages in a University of Pennsylvania basement.There, genetically engineered mice and rats, some of them the equivalent of 80-year-old humans, display rippling, well-toned muscles that neither aging nor a lack of exercise can diminish.Injected only once with a synthetic gene created by researchers in Penn's physiology department, these ripped rodents are as much...