SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week he had selected recently-deceased Senator Dianne Feinstein's replacement by throwing a dart at a board full of pre-selected photos of black lesbian women. "We had binders full of black lesbian women we were just waiting to use," Governor Newsom told reporters. "I really didn't know much about them other than they were, of course, black, and also lesbian. This one, what's her name? Lalapalooza or something? Yeah, whatever. She's fine." Newsom was seen staring at a large board in his office put together by staffers displaying dozens of photos of...