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FLANDERS, N.Y. -- Who needs Rockefeller Center when you have the Big Duck? It was 1931 when construction workers in soon-to-be Rockefeller Center put up a modest Christmas tree to begin what would become one of New York City's greatest traditions. That same year, a Long Island farmer decided to build a giant duck-shaped shop where he could sell fresh ducks and eggs by the side of the road. Seventy-five years later, as tens of thousands of people watch Christina Aguilera, Sting and Bette Midler perform Wednesday at the Rockefeller Center tree-lighting, a much smaller group will gather 75 miles...

Jacob admitted that he has not ironed out details of his proposed immigration FastPass, styled after the pass used at Disneyland. Park visitors can go to a ride, obtain a FastPass, and then return during a specific time and go to the front of the line. Cannon pressed him on which illegal aliens would qualify for a FastPass. Jacob said it would not be for everyone, only those who had been in America for 10 to 20 years. If they've actually been here that long, show us the five Social Security numbers you've used, get an affidavit from your wife...

Last Updated: Wednesday, 9 June, 2004, 09:03 GMT 10:03 UK Donald Duck celebrates turning 70 Donald does it with style Donald Duck, one of Walt Disney's most endearing characters, is celebrating his 70th birthday. Celebrations will be taking place at Disney resorts and other venues across the globe to mark the milestone. Donald was first seen on 9 June 1934 in an animated cartoon called the Wise Little Hen. The famous duck has gone on to feature in hundreds of cartoons and comic strips, which have been translated into dozens of languages. 'Webbed' print In Disneyland Paris, a cake with...

All my life whenever I saw Donald Duck it made me think of my Daddy; I finally figured out why. Similarities between my Daddy and Donald Duck: My Daddy’s name was Donald. My Daddy was in the Navy. My Daddy had a bad temper when frustrated. Donald Duck had nephews Huey, Duey and Luey; my Daddy had triplett brothers Harry, Larry and Garry . My Daddy was born on June 9, 1934: Donald Duck was born(created) June 9,1934. Today is Donald Duck’s 70th birthday ,as it would have been my Daddy’s if he had lived to see it. Is it...

"Scrooge McDuck Capitalism" I’ve never quite understood the psychology of capitalist bashers. I’ve seen the images of young WTO demonstrators shattering Starbucks windows while wearing Levis and Adidas, drinking Pepsi and coordinating their protests on cell phones. Who do they think will create their favorite goodies if not capitalists? Bureaucrats? Psychic channelers? The People’s Natural Altruistic Collective Manufacturing Co-op and Poetry Center of Berkeley, California? And then there are those economic pundits with a tray of Scrabble tiles lined up behind their names who characterize the collapse of Enron as “a failure of capitalism.” But Enron is not capitalism and...

Editorial, Humor: IF YOU CAN’T POST THIS THEN THERE IS NO FREEDOM OF SPEECH In a surprise press conference the FBI announced that since Hesham Mohamed Hadayet was found to not have terror ties, that they must reluctantly extend the non-terrorist designation to the white man, Timothy McVeigh. The recategorization of MeVeigh was forced on the FBI and its associate, the news media, in response to a suit brought by the NtripleACP on behalf of the McVeigh family. NtripleACP spokesperson, the Rev. Jessie, declared that the suit was initiated to promote the NtripleACP’s newly adopted founding principle that all people,...