JACKSON, MS — In a desperate bid to stop First Baptist Church from voting on hideous new carpet, local elder Gary McCord took matters into his own hands and pulled the church's fire alarm. "I did what I had to do," said Mr. McCord. "That is the absolute worst shade of purple I've seen in all my years." As the Fire Department arrived, Mr. McCord brushed off questions about his motivation for triggering the evacuation. "Look here, mister fireman," began Mr. McCord, holding up two swatches of carpet. "When you walk into church, you expect this here standard burgundy, okay?...