Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Facebook Builds FireWALL To Keep Google Plus Refugees Out SATIRE

    03/21/2019 9:43:56 AM PDT · by gattaca
    Babylon Bee ^ | March 20, 2019 | Babylon Bee
    MENLO PARK, CA—Declaring the problem to be a "national emergency," Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg ordered the construction of a looming firewall along the borders of Facebook to prevent Google Plus refugees from getting in. A caravan of refugees from the nearly defunct social network began transitioning to Facebook earlier this week, causing Facebook engineers to quickly begin construction of the wall. While conspiracy theorists suggested the caravan was actually funded by Twitter, these claims seem to be unfounded. "We don't know what kinds of people they're sending us," Zuckerberg cautioned. "Sure, most of them may be legitimately seeking asylum. But...
  • Candidates Propose Changes To Fix Flaw In Constitution That Allows Republicans To Be Elected Satire

    03/21/2019 9:37:51 AM PDT · by gattaca · 7 replies
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—A number of Democrats have proposed changes to the structure of government that they think would help them win, such as lowering the voting age to 16, abolishing the Electoral College, packing the Supreme Court, and changing how Senate seats are allocated. Now, though, some of the Democratic presidential hopefuls are attacking the heart of the matter: what they call an “outdated Constitution” that sometimes “allows Republicans to be elected.” “The election of Trump exposed a fundamental flaw in the Constitution,” Senator Elizabeth Warren said at a campaign rally. “Everyone said Hillary was supposed to win, but she didn’t....
  • Today's Toons 3/21/19

    03/21/2019 3:59:20 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 21 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/21/19 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Need a new network

    03/20/2019 1:51:59 PM PDT · by conservativesister · 67 replies
    Calling all financially solvent conservative news talk / reporters. Please start: FCNN First Conservative News Network At least we would have something since Fox went south and it would be so much fun to say: FCNN
  • Today's Toons 3/20/19

    03/20/2019 3:37:39 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 27 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 3/20/19 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Red Book staring Mao Zedong and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortex

    03/19/2019 10:23:06 PM PDT · by ifinnegan · 16 replies
    Memes ^ | Unknown | Anonymous
  • ‘It’s Not a Reality Show’: Michelle Obama Explains Why Presidential Candidates Need Experience

    03/19/2019 10:14:30 AM PDT · by simpson96 · 73 replies
    International Journal Review ^ | 3/18/2019 | Lizzie Helmer
    The field of candidates in the 2020 presidential elections continues to widen almost every week, but former first lady Michelle Obama argued that not everyone is cut out for the job. On an episode of Conan O’Brien’s podcast, “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend,” which aired Monday, she spoke with the host about how the perception of the job as changed in the current presidency. “It’s not a reality show, it’s real-life stuff,” she told O’Brien. Obama said that in her involvement in the 2016 election, she tried to emphasize that the position is a hard job and that someone with...
  • Golf is a Funny Game

    03/19/2019 8:05:32 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 53 replies
    email from a friend | 3/19/2019 | unknown
    A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request....
  • Today's Toons 3/19/19

    03/19/2019 3:46:15 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 50 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/19/19 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Best Fast Food Sweet Tea -- Bless Your Rank

    03/18/2019 8:46:48 PM PDT · by OddLane · 47 replies
    Youtube ^ | 3/17/19 | It's A Southern Thing
    Matt takes the best fast food sweet teas (as decided by our Facebook supporters) and ranks them best to worst. These include Chick-Fil-A, Bojangles', Whataburger, Sonic, McDonald's, Zaxby's, and Popeyes.
  • YOUNG AMERICANS HILARIOUSLY EXPLAIN WHY LOWERING THE VOTING AGE TO 16 IS A TERRIBLE IDEA

    03/18/2019 7:15:27 AM PDT · by Silentgypsy · 34 replies
    news.grabien.com ^ | Mar 16, 2019 | Tom Elliott
    On Thursday I posted a clip of Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) endorsing an effort from her colleague, Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.), to lower the voting age to 16. “I myself personally — I’m not speaking for my caucus, I myself have always been for lowering the voter — the voting age to 16,” Pelosi said during her weekly press conference. “I think it’s really important to capture kids when they’re in high school, when they’re interested in all of this, when they’re learning about government to be able to vote. … But my view is that I would welcome that....
  • Today's Toons 3/18/19

    03/18/2019 4:13:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 120 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 3/18/19 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Former VP Slow Joe Biden Announce Candidacy (Satire)

    03/17/2019 8:06:53 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 2 replies
    3/17/19 | RetiredTexasVet
    Former Vice President "Slow Joe" Biden announced his candidacy for the Democratic nomination for Vice President today. Reporters and fellow Democrats were taken aback by this surprising announcement. Slow Joe stated that there were several reasons for his decision to run for Vice President rather than President. First, he listed the 8 years of experience that he had as VP under Obama which made him more qualified than anyone else for the position. He stated that it was really like a highly paid part time job with the only downside being considered a lowly step-n-fetch-it. Second, he acknowledged that he...
  • St. Patty's Day Joke

    03/17/2019 11:25:01 AM PDT · by Puckster · 32 replies
    Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”. “Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?” “That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery” “Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.” “I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.” Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?” “It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat...
  • Ocasio-Cortez scorches NYC schools at Queens town hall

    03/16/2019 11:56:41 PM PDT · by EinNYC · 85 replies
    NY Post ^ | March 16, 2019 | Georgett Roberts and Isabel Vincent
    Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recalled how her public-school teachers thought she needed “remedial education” because she had grown up speaking Spanish at home. The freshman lawmaker, speaking Saturday at a packed town hall organized by the Jackson Heights People for Public Schools, said, “As a child I spoke Spanish first. … and I went to a school where no one looked like me. I went to a school where teachers thought I needed remedial education because I spoke two languages instead of one.”
  • Whither Pookie?

    03/16/2019 10:52:54 AM PDT · by William of Barsoom · 25 replies
    self - vanity, I guess ^ | 3/15/2019 | William of Barsoom
    Q. about Pookie & The Toons.
  • Moose mistaken for burglar after crashing into Breckenridge home

    03/16/2019 6:00:26 AM PDT · by real saxophonist · 13 replies
    thedenverchannel ^ | Mar 15, 2019 | Robert Garrison
    Moose mistaken for burglar after crashing into Breckenridge home Mar 15, 2019 By: Robert Garrison BRECKENRIDGE, Colo. – Sleeping guests inside a Breckenridge home were awakened early Friday morning to the sound of broken glass. Thinking they were being burglarized, the guests called 911. But when officers arrived on scene, they soon discovered the trespasser was not the typical troublemaker they regularly encounter. Breckenridge police found that a moose had crashed through a window in the home’s basement. Colorado Parks and Wildlife were called and said the animal probably had had been walking around outside the house in deep snow...
  • Alliance of American Football (AAF): Live Thread #2 (Week 6+)

    03/15/2019 11:54:38 PM PDT · by Impy · 43 replies
    3-16-2019
    "AAF? I though that show was cancelled in the 80's." You are thinking of "ALF". The AAF is a new minor league to test American's appetite for football and give players a chance to audition for the NFL. Founded by Charlie Ebersol and former NFL executive Bill Polian. Here are the teams and their head coaches. Eastern Conference Atlanta Legends, Kevin Coyle Birmingham Iron, Tim Lewis Memphis Express, Mike Singletary Orlando Apollos, Steve Spurrier Western Conference Arizona (Tempe) Hotshots, Rick Neuheisel Salt Lake Stallions, Dennis Erickson San Antonio Commanders, Mike Riley San Diego Fleet, Mike Martz "I like 'Iron' but...
  • Uranus Makes a Surprise Appearance

    03/15/2019 3:14:51 PM PDT · by BeauBo · 64 replies
    Space.com ^ | 15 March 2019 | Hanneke Weitering
    Can you spot Uranus in this photo? You may be surprised to learn... it is possible to see it with the naked eye — no telescopes or binoculars required. All you need is... an idea of where to look for it... Although telescopes and binoculars are not required to see Uranus on a dark, clear night, binoculars can come in handy when you're trying to locate it — especially for those with less-than-stellar eyesight.
  • A young Arab boy asks [politically incorrect email/social media quip]

    03/14/2019 5:13:02 PM PDT · by SJackson · 10 replies
    A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?” The father said: “Why, my son, it is a ‘chechia.’ In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.” “And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy. “Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a ‘djbellah.’ As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire Body. The son then asked: “But Father, what about...