Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Dr. Ford FINALLY (attempts) to Report her Assault

    09/21/2018 7:06:52 PM PDT · by GOP Congress · 21 replies
    Dr. Ford finally reports her assault to the local police, the Montgomery County (MD) Sheriff Dept. *RING!!* "Hello, this is Corporal Rayburn, Montgomery County Sheriff Office." "H-h-hello? Is anyone there?" "Ma'am, you'll have to speak up." "I'm - I'm sorry. I want to report an ...attempted rape and assault." "What is your name, please?" "My name is Chrissy-er, Christine. Christine Ford." "Christine with a Ch or a K, ma'am?" "That's Doctor Ford." "OK, ok. Who did this ... attempted rape and assault, ma'am?" "Judge Brett Kavanaugh." "That was rather direct, ma'am. When did this attempted rape occur? "Ah, awhile back....
  • The Punk and the Old Geezer

    09/21/2018 9:01:14 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 10 replies
    Jokes Warehouse ^ | 1/21/2002 | unknown
    A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man. The young punk has spiked, multi-colored, green, purple, and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers. The old man glares at the young punk for him for the next ten miles, as the bus travels across the city. Finally, the punk looks across at...
  • Today's Toons 9/21/18

    09/21/2018 1:24:16 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 20 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/21/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • NFL Live Thread: Week 3

    09/20/2018 12:02:19 PM PDT · by Impy · 80 replies
    9-20-2018
    NFL LIVE THREAD Week 3 THURSDAY, SEP 20, 2018 (All Times Eastern) N.Y. Jets at Cleveland 8:20 pm NFLN FirstEnergy Stadium SUNDAY, SEP 23, 2018 Buffalo at Minnesota 1:00 pm CBS U.S. Bank Stadium Cincinnati at Carolina 1:00 pm CBS Bank of America Stadium Denver at Baltimore 1:00 pm CBS M&T Bank Stadium Green Bay at Washington 1:00 pm FOX FedEx Field Indianapolis at Philadelphia 1:00 pm FOX Lincoln Financial Field New Orleans at Atlanta 1:00 pm FOX Mercedes-Benz Stadium N.Y. Giants at Houston 1:00 pm FOX NRG Stadium Tickets Oakland at Miami 1:00 pm CBS Hard Rock Stadium San...
  • Thursday coffee break

    09/20/2018 5:55:18 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 3 replies
    email from a friend | 9/20/2018 | unknown
    A woman's tale: I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to surprise our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here are the results: My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and...
  • 50 Reasons Why Women Live Longer Than Men

    You don’t need science to prove that women live longer than men, you just need this hilarious photographic evidence of men being men .
  • Today's Toons 9/20/18

    09/20/2018 3:23:16 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/20/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Bush withdraws Kavanaugh nomination, remembers he is no longer President

    09/19/2018 5:13:47 PM PDT · by keat · 23 replies
    self
    Sorry, couldn't resist.
  • Yo, ho, ho! It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day

    09/19/2018 6:25:28 AM PDT · by Bloody Sam Roberts · 28 replies
    Local 10 ABC News Florida ^ | September 19, 2018 | Chistina Maxouris & Emanuella Grinberg
    Aye maties, 'tis the day we've all been waiting for: International Talk Like a Pirate Day. But avast! Before you grab your grog and parrot, let's get ye educated! The idea for the day was born in 1995 on a YMCA racquetball court in Albany, Oregon. John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur and his friend Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers began throwing around insults, just like pirates. They selected Sept. 19, simply because Summers had recently divorced, it was his ex-wife's birthday, and he figured "the date was stuck in my head, and I wasn't going to do anything with it anymore," he...
  • Today's Toons 9/19/18

    09/19/2018 1:24:54 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 9/19/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Pop-Up Restaurant Opens In Los Angeles

    09/18/2018 11:33:42 PM PDT · by CaliforniaCraftBeer · 6 replies
    people.com ^ | September13, 2018 | Jessica Fecteau
    Starting on September 18, a Flamin’ Hot Cheetos-themed restaurant will be opening in Hollywood for three nights only. The Flamin’ Hot Spot will be serving a three-course menu, featuring ten Cheetos-inspired dishes created by celebrity chef Roy Choi — the mastermind behind Kogi BBQ. The dishes, which range in price from $11 to $35, will include appetizers, entrees and desserts. People can try a variety of Cheeto dishes, including Flamin’ Hot Chipotle Ranch Wings, a Hot Cheetos Burrito, Chester Cheetah’s Cheetos Churros or even a Hot Chocolate...
  • Senate Questions for Christine Blasey Ford..add your own!

    09/18/2018 4:29:19 PM PDT · by DouglasKC · 117 replies
    freerepublic ^ | today | self
    Okay this could be fun. What are some questions YOU would like the Senate panel to ask Christine Blasey Ford. Here are some to start it off: Questions for her: 1. At this party YOU were at and which Mr. Kavenaugh was NOT at, according to him, were you drinking as well as they boys that were with you in the bedroom? 2. How often did you go to drinking parties with teenage boys? 3. Did any other teenage boys ever feel you up in high school? 4. After you were laying on the bed with the drunk high school...
  • Another Letter has been sent to Feinstein. (Satire)

    09/18/2018 10:36:02 AM PDT · by red-dawg · 1 replies
    RD
    Dear Senator Feinstein, I am writing to you with concern about a colleague of yours that has committed crimes that should not go unpunished. I am requesting that my identity remain anonymous. The person in question has been continuously violating numerous laws for many years and I feel that it is time to expose this person and force her to face the justice that she deserves. I know the details of all the crimes involved, from violating national security to murder. One such incident was a staged suicide to cover up a murder, another being violating national security by keeping...
  • Today's Toons 9/18/18

    09/18/2018 3:50:22 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 21 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/18/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • China accuses Sweden of violating human rights over treatment of tourists

    09/17/2018 8:27:50 PM PDT · by blueplum · 18 replies
    The Guardian ^ | 17 Sep 2018 | Lily Kuo
    A disagreement between Chinese tourists and a hostel in Stockholm over check-in time has turned into a diplomatic spat between China and Sweden, after Beijing criticised Sweden for violating the human rights of Chinese citizens. [snip] Bizarre video footage posted online shows police carrying the group outside, while the son yells in English: “This is killing. This is killing.” Another clip shows the three lying on the ground crying loudly while the mother wails in Chinese: “Save me.” [snip] “I broke down and lost my mind,” Zeng said. “I was not able to think whether it was appropriate or not....
  • Universal To Donate All Proceeds From New ‘Fifty Shades’ Movie To #MeToo Movement (satire)

    09/17/2018 11:44:45 AM PDT · by gattaca · 3 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | February 13, 2018 | Babylon Bee
    UNIVERSAL CITY, CA—In a selfless move designed to help victims of sexual harassment and abuse, Universal Pictures announced Tuesday it would be donating all proceeds from the new Fifty Shades Freed movie—the final chapter in the blockbuster trilogy featuring a creepily aggressive, controlling male lead and raunchy sex and bondage scenes—to foundations that support the #MeToo movement. According to the company, all profits from ticket and movie sales of the film focused on an unhealthy, abusive relationship will go toward ensuring women aren’t objectified, harassed, or otherwise victimized by men who use their wealth and status as leverage. “Every time...
  • Fun for Monday

    09/17/2018 8:45:55 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 9 replies
    email from a friend | 9/17/2018 | unknown
    BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. JOINING NUDIST COLONY ! Must sell washer and dryer £100. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. **** And the WINNER is... **** FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete...
  • Today's Toons 9/17/18

    09/17/2018 1:22:22 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/17/18 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Take a Break!

    09/16/2018 8:03:00 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 15 replies
    email from a friend | 9/16/2018 | unknown
    4-YEAR-OLD'S FIRST PAY CHECK a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. Love the ending! Young family moved to a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually...
  • Florence Deaths To Rise To 20,000 (Satire)

    09/15/2018 6:24:20 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 11 replies
    9/15/18 | RetiredTexasVet
    A study commissioned by the Democratic National Committee at George Washington University projected that at least 20,000 people would die as a result of Hurricane Florence. GWU used the Climate Change Model perfected by Global Warming professors Jones, Hansen and Mann to calculate their projections of 20,000 deaths. Although the actual number of deaths to date are less than 20, when the Puerto Rico model (3,000 estimated deaths) was updated with the Florence statistics and tweaked several times, the death estimates rose to 20,000. GWU defended their results stating that several factors influenced the estimates. Many of the estimated deaths...