Allow me a small amount of vanity bandwidth to explain why Phil will never win another Major Championship. Obesity. When he turned pro out of college he was slim, trim and flexible. His talent was amazing. Yes he has won twenty-odd tournaments, and yes he did win two Masters, but to see him striding the fairways of Medinah is to painfully watch a middle-aged couch-potato waddle slowly down the fairway as his ponderous breasts sag through his sweat-soaked shirt. He needs a Cosmo Kramer Bro! His face is bloated almost beyond recognition to his rookie year. His middle is a...