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  • Cowpoke in hot pants stirs transgender uproar at Texas BBQ joint

    06/10/2016 11:11:04 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 17 replies
    Fox News.com ^ | June 9, 2016 | Todd Starnes
    When it comes to eating at a barbecue joint thereís an unspoken code of conduct. You donít order salad, you donít use a fork and if youíre a cross-dressing cowboy with an affinity for stiletto heels Ė you donít use the ladies room. And that brings me to a story from the pages of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram about a small-town barbecue joint that inadvertently found itself right smack in the middle of the big debate over transgender bathrooms. John Sanford owns BBQ on the Brazos Ė located about 30 minutes or so southwest of the stockyards in Fort Worth....
  • MORFORD: Which Way To The Apocalypse?

    06/09/2006 7:46:33 AM PDT · by SmithL · 8 replies · 474+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 6/9/6 | Mark Morford
    When all the fanatical Christians disappear, will traffic finally improve? Wait, did I miss it? Did it happen three days ago, on 6-6-06, a.k.a. Tea Time with the Beast, a.k.a. the Great Day of Reckoning, a.k.a. the National Day of Slayer, all the world crashing down in a heap of hissing steam and belching smoke and balmy gusty breezes sometime around noon just after lunch but not before rush hour and hitting right around siesta? I might have been napping. Did the Apocalypse finally hit? Did the deep wish of roughly a half-billion zealous believers come to pass and were...
  • Bring on 6$ a Gallon Gas

    05/10/2006 7:56:48 PM PDT · by Tzimisce · 50 replies · 2,161+ views
    SFGate.com ^ | Mark Morford
    No wait, not six. To hell with that. Make it 10. Ten bucks a gallon, no matter what the going rate for a barrel of light sweet crude. That would so completely, violently, brilliantly do it. Revolutionize the country. Firebomb our pungent stasis. Change everything. Don't you agree? Here's what we could do: Give gas discounts to cab drivers (at least initially) and metro transit systems and low-income folks, those who have to drive their busted-up '78 Honda Civics to their jobs scrubbing restaurant toilets and flipping burgers and vacuuming the residual cocaine from the seat cushions of numb SUV...
  • MORFORD: Christian Virgins Are Overrated

    05/12/2006 5:59:51 AM PDT · by SmithL · 19 replies · 1,740+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/12/6 | Mark Morford
    Think sex and drugs destroy America? Try naive chastity. Oh, and "Purity Balls" There are these things. These unholy events called "Purity Balls" and you should probably fall to your knees right this minute and thank a merciful and lubricious and happily polyamorous God that you do not know what they are and that you have access right this minute to vast quantities of wine to deflect their nasty karmic arrows because, you know, oh my God. But hey, free country. Purity Balls. No, not some sort of newfangled spherical chastity device to be inserted using vacuum tubes and pulleys,...
  • MORFORD: Can You Still Hate Wal-Mart?

    05/24/2006 7:44:47 AM PDT · by SmithL · 26 replies · 1,087+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/24/6 | Mark Morford
    It's a shockingly eco-friendly plan from the world's most toxic retailer. Did hell just freeze over? Sometimes you just have to let the possibility breathe. Sometimes you just have to allow that something grand and good and healthy might actually be born from the bowels of the dank and ravenous megacorporate world, like flowers from a dung heap, like vodka from old potatoes, even if it comes right alongside the nastiest, most abusive federal environmental policy you will see in your lifetime. Take Wal-Mart, the most famously offensive, town-destroying, junk-purveying, labor-abusing, sweatshop-supporting, American-job-killing, soul-numbing, seizure-inducing, hope-curdling retailer in the known...
  • MORFORD: To The Drunk Who Smashed My Car Quite a wreck you made, didn't you?

    11/11/2005 9:31:11 AM PST · by BurbankKarl · 25 replies · 983+ views
    SF GATE ^ | 11/11/05 | Miss Morford
    Yes, I know you were drunk. Must've been. Either drunk or on serious meds and/or you just didn't give much of a damn about anything anyway because you're just one of those people, one of those types who comes lurching around the city like a chunk of numbed pain in your big-ass mid-'80s burgundy car with the white top and chrome bumpers -- an old Cadillac? Monte Carlo? -- early last Sunday morning to wreak casual havoc. Is that about right? Do you remember any of it? Here is what I'm guessing: probably not. Let me tell you what happened,...
  • MORFORD: God Does Not Want 16 Kids

    10/19/2005 7:48:41 AM PDT · by SmithL · 85 replies · 2,225+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/19/5 | Mark Morford
    Arkansas mom gives birth to a whole freakin' baseball team. How deeply should you cringe? Who are you to judge? Who are you to say that the more than slightly creepy 39-year-old woman from Arkansas who just gave birth to her 16th child yes that's right 16 kids and try not to cringe in phantom vaginal pain when you say it, who are you to say Michelle Duggar is not more than a little unhinged and sad and lost? And furthermore, who are you to suggest that her equally troubling husband -- whose name is, of course, Jim Bob...