There is nothing redeeming about a speedboat. It's loud, it serves no purpose other than to anger people not in it, it creates a huge wake that's obnoxious on the water and even on the beach and it violently slashes through manatees that bob near the surface of Miami's coastal waters. There is even less that is redeeming about the kind of person who covets one -- or, worse, actually owns one. Speedboats are made exclusively for assholes.