Since Jan 25, 2004

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First off I’m an inventor. I have patents on my electric nose picker and toilet paper unroller when you clap your hands. I am working on patenting a gas fired bread toaster. I did make a prototype of a cranial electromagnetic stimulator but unfortunately I forgot how I did it because amnesia is one of the side effects. I’m also into civil war airplanes which is a neat hobby.

I have followed my dream of moving into the country and raising my own food. Unfortunately I was sold a flock of gay chickens. They don’t reproduce very well. As much as I’ve tried (can’t tell you the methods here), I can’t break them of this disgusting habit.
As an update on my hobby farm: I added solar panels on my windmill vanes and ended up blowing every circuit on my panel.And I added Roomba controls to my riding lawnmower and inadvertently proved there is truly more than one way to skin a cat.

I've been reduced to working for a living due to bad luck. I'm now employed as a mountain climber for the National Park Service. I rappel down and trim the nose hairs and ear fuzz on the Presidents at Mt. Rushmore.

"Oh no, I'm not sick, well I'm not physically sick anyway. Mentally I'm sick beyond any doctor's ability to measure it, but otherwise I'm great!" −