Since May 24, 2001
You are Mr. Scott
|You are a fun-loving foreigner with an
amazing ability to get any job done on time.
Often described as a "Miracle Worker".
My handle is in commemoration of the Jumpin' Jim Jeffords defection, even if the Democrat Majority in the Senate did not last long. Remember how upset we all were about that, way back when?
[TAG LINE STORAGE] - Feel free to steal if any appeal!
L'Etat, c'est Barack...
A Liberal will lick the boot on his neck if he thinks the other boot is on a Conservative's neck.
WAR IS PEACE / FREEDOM IS SLAVERY / DIVERSITY IS STRENGTH
Righty Tighty / Lefty Loosey
All Bills before Congress should be limited to 500 words. Anything more just leads to mischief.
I Represent Climate Change
"I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" -- J. Wellington Wimpy
The only reason I don't mind being called a Nazi is that no woman every had a fantasy about being tied up and ravaged by a Liberal - P.J. O'Roark
Why be fair to the lawbreaker in Illinois and not fair to the law abiding man in Mexico?
You know when you see the (Fill-In-The-Blank)AID Concert, an issue is headed for obscurity
GLOBAL WARMING IS A HOAX
I have taken a sacred vow to always maintain a smaller carbon footprint than Algore.
If you are getting flak, you know you are over the target
The Truth will get you ratings!
Suicide Bombers are self-selected for STUPID
If I eat right, don't smoke and exercise, I might live long enough to see the last Baby Boomer die.
War may not be the Answer, but Peace is not an Option
Peace is Not and Option
You think Health Care is expensive now... Just wait 'till it's free! -- PJ O'Roark
Youll never grow old with Hillary-Care.
You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you.
What if they gave a (holy) war, and nobody (from our side) came...
You cannot coexist with somebody who wants you dead.
C'mon people now / Smile on your Brother / Everybody get together / Try to love one anoth-BOOM!
Getting drunk can make you only so stupid without being pretty stupid to start with.
Disastrous social experimentation is the opiate of elitist snobs.
Cats always land on their feet, but babies always land on their heads
If you are getting too much publicity, fire your publicist!
Wolf. No, seriously... Wolf!
Now that Polar Bears are protected, where do I go to get a permit to breathe?
THE TEN CANNOTS
By Reverend William J.H. Boetcker (1916)
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away mens initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves
Toshiba Heinz Foods Easter Seals March of Dimes The United Way American Red Cross Progressive Insurance
*Note to Nervous Nellies: The above is a boycott list
I don't give them Hell / I tell the truth about them / And they think it's Hell" -- Harry Truman
If you have a Right / To the service I provide / I must be your Slave
Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
You can force me to recycle, but I will NOT sing the song!
What we've got here is ... failure to communicate
Chris Christie won Frank Pallone's NJ-6 CD by 15.5%. Go Anna Little!
Gridlock's Principle of Government Boondoggles:
Any government program that has broad public support based on strong emotional appeal will become a wasteful boondoggle as sharp operators move in to exploit the public willingness to throw money at the program. The more powerful the appeal, the bigger the boondoggle.
Robert Conquest's Three Laws of Politics:
1. Everyone is conservative about what he knows best.
2. Any organization not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.
3. The simplest way to explain the behavior of any bureaucratic organization is to assume that it is controlled by a cabal of its enemies.
The Gods of the Copybook Headings
AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.
We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.
We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.
With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.
When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."
On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."
In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."
Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.
As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!