Man Being Considered for Medal of Freedom [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 September 2022 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

At 2:35 Sunday morning, 41-year-old Shannon Brandt called 911 to report that he had hit a pedestrian in an alley way outside of the bar where he had been drinking in Grace City, North Dakota. Though the teen-aged victim Cayler Ellingson was fleeing when Brandt drove his SUV over him, Brandt claimed self-defense. "From some of the things I heard him say I realized he was one of those MAGA enemies of democracy that the President warned us about in his speech a couple of weeks ago." The police charged Brandt with vehicular homicide, driving while drunk, and leaving the scene of a deadly crash.

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called the arrest of Brandt "hasty and ill-considered, but I suppose it's what we should expect from a red state like North Dakota. Marooned in a state with a MAGA majority, Brandt justifiably feared he would become yet another victim of these right-wing semi-fascists. Yet, he overcame his fear and took the kind of direct action the President would like to see from all loyal Americans."

"I expect that the President will intervene to ensure that this hero of democracy is properly rewarded for helping to set an example for others to follow," the Press Secretary said. "This would include an after-the-fact authorization of a justifiable homicide, a cash reward, and the Medal of Freedom. If former president Trump could give a Medal of Freedom to Rush Limbaugh—one of the worst enemies of democracy in world history—it's time we balance the scales by acknowledging a real hero."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/332674-2022-09-24-semi-news-semi-satire-september-25-2022-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[sima_yi]

Heavens, John, don't give them any ideas.

Yet another good one, although in this case, satire might just be ahead of reality.