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Ozzy Announces He Is Retiryouknow, The Thing With Sabbath And The Flibberyloo, An-n-n-Tony Andi Wit The Bloody Timeof Our Lives
The Babylon Bee ^ | February 1, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/02/2023 4:09:21 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

LOS ANGELES — In a touching message to fans, Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne has announced he is "retiryouknow, the thing with Sabbath and the flibberyloo, an-n-n Tony andi wit the bloody timeof our lives, mate."

"I luhthu fans, futhin right by th love, Sabbath badboy innit?" said Osbourne in a statement. "Heavy meh-ahl don by me knackered cheeky bodger an hodd ROCK! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

The 74-year-old singer, who has been struggling with health issues for years, announced the premature end of his European tour, much to the dismay of fans. Many are still speculating as to whether he will ever perform again, or whether he'll just bagsy up the next benderyouknow for all th-birds, yeahalright.

"Et-ah love-y inna bobbish, yeh mates alright!" said Osbourne toward the end of his statement. "Sharon wantsa you know all over the house, takea nap inna boot now, cheerio."

When asked for comment on Ozzy's retirement, former bandmate and Sabbath founder Tony Iommi said, "What?'

At publishing time Ozzy had crossa lineya flibber, gotta geh-upn' do eht-anyway.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; ozzyosbourne; retirement; satire; speech; statement

1 posted on 02/02/2023 4:09:21 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I don’t remember Ozzy sounding this coherent recently. :)


2 posted on 02/02/2023 4:10:38 PM PST by Mr. Jeeves ([CTRL]-[GALT]-[DELETE])
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Ozzie speaks Joe’s language.


3 posted on 02/02/2023 4:15:31 PM PST by seowulf (Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Maybe he should run for PM as head of some party or other, and if elected he can keep Brandon company and make him look better in contrast.


4 posted on 02/02/2023 4:21:06 PM PST by Eleutheria5 (Every Goliath has his David.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Best to stay home now Ozzie and let Sharon serve you tea and biscuits in the afternoons.


5 posted on 02/02/2023 4:32:33 PM PST by tflabo (Truth or tyranny )
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To: tflabo

My favorite moment from that MTV thing they had was when Sharon was throwing a frozen ham at her next door neighbor’s house. I also loved when Ozzy said “get the bleepin’ dog off the bleepin’ dinner table”.


6 posted on 02/02/2023 4:54:56 PM PST by Gay State Conservative (No Doubt Now: Stolen Election)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The one think Ozzie has going for him is that you will never be able to tell if he gets dementia.


7 posted on 02/02/2023 4:59:45 PM PST by microgood
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To: Mr. Jeeves

It’s funny I can understand his lyrics, but can’t otherwise understand a thing the man says.


8 posted on 02/02/2023 6:19:00 PM PST by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

9 posted on 02/02/2023 11:02:48 PM PST by Albion Wilde ("There is no good government at all & none possible."--Mark Twain)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Ozzie did drugs, and Ozzie's brain is dead
I went hunting, and I'm still Ted

Ted Nugent

10 posted on 02/03/2023 2:30:28 AM PST by Hardastarboard (Don't wish your enemy ill; plan it. )
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To: Gay State Conservative
I always liked this one, back when Bush was still sorta cool.

Ozzy always remarked how super overjoyed he was to have been invited and given a shoutout by the president.

CSPAN 2002 Nerd Prom - Bush/Ozzy

11 posted on 02/03/2023 2:46:04 AM PST by Drew68 (Ron DeSantis for President 2024)
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