Sadly, all the alcoholics I knew ended up with cirrhosis of the liver. The party is over at that point.
Your friend has made a choice.
A friend of mine made that same choice.
He was told that if he quit drinking they would put him on the transplant list and he told them to F off.
Now he is dead, and dead due to his own choices.
I was not mad at him, I just thought his choices were really stupid.
Also liver failure is one of the worst ways to go, you develop ascites (water in the abdominal cavity) severe itching from increased billirubin levels which can get so bad that you scratch down to the subcutaneous level. You also can develop wernicke-korsakoff syndrome from poor diet along with psychosis from increased ammonia levels. Not to mention that your genitals shrink and your breasts enlarge due to low testosterone levels.
I say this with no malice in my heart. I’ve lived with this and seen both friends and family utterly destroy themselves AND anyone around them with drugs and alcohol.
Walk away. As painful as it is, you simply have to.
It’s a matter of self defense.
L
I lost a close friend just this way. It broke my heart being unable to help him. It was over 30 years ago that he died, and I still remember him with sorrow and regret. I don’t feel like sharing the stories; just wanted to say that I understand the anguish you feel. And also your friend’s anguish. Don’t be angry with your friend. It won’t help, and will only sour your memories of a loved one. I’m really sorry for you.
There is no dealing with alcoholics until they stop drinking.
If she has lived this long, she can make a choice to stop drinking if she has the strength and discipline. But I can tell you the vaccines may not be overcome. My mom was on the verge of death from alcohol but when she was confronted with her own demise... 1 year to a liver transplant... she quit drinking and 3 months later she was healed... Your body either can handle it or it can’t. Now for the vax... you need to detox and there are lots of protocols to get you out of that. The vax is deadlier than booze in my opinion. My step mother was killed by the vaccine, highly recommend you follow Dr. Dr. Joseph Mercola and Edward Dowd. We have been poisoned and the most evil people who ever walked the face of the earth poisoned us. And they know it by the way.
For some folks I’ve known, one is too many and a hundred not enough.
Some found rock bottom, saw the light, and made it back from the abyss.
Sadly, too many never made it, and are among the dear departed.
Give her the Gospel ... in love.
It’s not too late for that.
I come from a family of alcoholics. I’m the only one who can have a drink now and then and not even think about booze in between. Actually forgot I had 3 bottles of wine in the house. Ended up giving them away.
It’s a well-known saying that Alcoholics have three choices: They get sober, they lose their minds, or they die. My sister got sober at a very young age, the pillar of AA for decades. My father and son died. My mother lost her mind, Korsakov’s Syndrome, which means her brain fried. She was a very beautiful, intelligent woman but just couldn’t quit.
Please get your friend to AA immediately. Probably have to call a local chapter and have an “intervention,” which means they come over to the alcoholic’s house and basically tell them how to live every day, one day at a time. And keep coming over. Sometimes it works.
A wealthy couple my sis knew in AA quit for quite awhile, then the wife told her hubby she wanted to drink more than anything and didn’t care if she ended up on skid row, which she managed to do.
You can offer only so much help. Sad.
As a recovering alocholic (date of sobriety 2/17/91) the only thing that could save her now is going to in-patient rehab where nurses and a doctor can take care of her with her detox and cancer. Most are 12 Step rehabs that include therapy that can begin her on her journey if she wants. For me, I couldn’t get sober at home - I had to be away from my environment and away from alcohol. But....I wanted to get sober and cried when admitted and cried when I left after a month. Rehab saved my life. It’s tough and I know many who wouldn’t do what was needed and are either in dead, jail, or instituted. It didn’t take me long to realize that if you want to get sober, you will. If you don’t, you won’t. Also, it’s harder on the families and friends than it is the person. Thank God they have Alanon to attend.
Lost a close friend a few weeks ago due to alcoholism. His liver was failing and other organs began to fail.
I recommend Al-Anon.
You already know you can’t fix your friend, but there you will be able to meet and talk with people in the same predicament as you.
I think it would help.
Stage 4 Liver Cancer?
You’re probably right with your estimate of 6 months to live.
BFL
What I have seen in alcoholics including the ones I am dealing with right now is that they are incredibly weak people, the weakest imaginable, child-like impulse self-gratification.
I’ve been in this situation many times including my first wife. Once they are in stage 4 cancer it’s to late to worry about whether they are an alcoholic.
If they are a friend whom you want to support in their dying days, then do that. If not then gently move away e.g. don’t return their calls and texts, have other plans when they invite you to a function ect.
I’ve done both and frankly I’ve regretted a bit not returning a few calls from them or coming by to see them.
I missed them more than I thought when they were gone..
My wife’s father was an alcoholic. All four of his kids drink. I don’t understand. Why even take ONE drink if you are susceptible.
A woman I known drank herself to death this year at age 52. It’s very sad. Her father was a hard-drinking German who came to this country as a teen after WW2. I suspect that she inherited her dad’s taste for booze, but she wasn’t as big and tough as him, with him making it to like 70 and her checking out at 52.
As a kid, I once asked my mother, “Why do some drunks die young? But others live to old age?” And she suggested a hypothesis that I’ve never seen in medical literature but has certainly proved predictive among people I’ve observed: “If the drunk eats well, they may be able to get away with it. If their diet is all booze and no food, it’ll kill them.”
My dear sweet Mother also drank herself to death finally passing from liver cancer.
Both believers but still helpless against their thirst and depression.
Thank God quitting drinking was about the easiest thing I've ever done.
Praying for your friend. Blessings.