When mommy goes off to war, it's rough on kids [sickening]

The Seattle Times ^ | 11/28/06 | Donna St. George

[XR7]

HAVRE DE GRACE, Md. — When they called her name, she could not move. Sgt. Leana Nishimura intended to walk up proudly, shake the dignitaries' hands and accept their honors for her service in Iraq — a special coin, a lapel pin, a glass-encased U.S. flag.

But her son clung to her leg. He cried and held tight...T.J. was 9, her oldest child, and although eight months had passed since she had returned from the war zone, he was still upset by anything that reminded him of her deployment...

The faraway move to live with his grandmother. The months that went by without his mother's kisses or hugs, without her scrutiny of homework, her teasing humor, her familiar bedtime songs.

Nishimura was a single mother — with no spouse to take over, to preserve her children's routines, to keep up the family apartment.

Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice."

When war started in Iraq, a generation of U.S. women became involved as never before — in a wider-than-ever array of jobs, for long deployments, in a conflict with daily bloodshed. More than 155,000 women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Among their ranks are more than 16,000 single mothers, according to the Pentagon, a number that military experts say is unprecedented.

How these women have coped and how their children are managing have gone little noticed as the war stretches across a fourth year...

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

[Antoninus]

Go take her place then. Be all that you can be.

I'm a father of four. Who would take my place?

[Stone Mountain]

I have no interest in discussing this, or any other issue with you.

What an odd thing to say after responding to so many of my previous posts. I guess you are incapable of coming up with a term the newspaper should have used so you arfe gonig to just close off contact? Oh well...

[Antoninus]

I read the whole article and am glad there is a plan in place to designate caregivers should the soldier be called to deploy (maybe this is obvious to most, but I did not know that kind of a plan existed).

Personally, I think that a singe mother who has children and no husband to take care of them in the event of her deployment should get an automatic discharge.

That said, I also think that having minor children should immediately disqualify ANY woman from serving in the military.

[Stone Mountain]

Divorcee is accurate, but not descriptive enough. The point the author was making is that not only is this woman divorced, but she also is bringing up children. To capture all of that, you would have to say, "A divorcee bringing up three children." Or if you appreciate brevity, a single mother of three children.

[Antoninus]

It could be that the subject of the artice sincerely wants to serve her country.

Even in that best case scenario, she's got her priorities screwed up. Her first duty is to the babies she brought into this world. Service to her country is a distant second.

[trisham]

That said, I also think that having minor children should immediately disqualify ANY woman from serving in the military.

************

Agreed.

[BeHoldAPaleHorse]

When it comes to those who kvetch about women serving in the military, their kvetching would be a lot more impressive if they were to go down to the recruiter and enlist.

[Stone Mountain]

I have no interest in discussing this, or any other issue with you.

Even funnier is that you posted to me first. So you apparently had some interest in discussing this earlier. I wonder what could have happened...

[Non-Sequitur]

I'm a father of four. Who would take my place?

There are plenty of fathers serving over there. Who's taking their place?

You don't want to go? Fine. Others serve in your place, regardless of gender. But don't criticize those that do go, or the organization that they serve in. That organization that helps protect your right to express your lame opinions.

[dakine]

"Her first duty is to the babies she brought into this world. Service to her country is a distant second."

You're funny...

[Allegra]

Exactly.

I think that's behind a lot of what they're expressing that they don't even realize they are expressing.

A feeling of inadequacy.

[Antoninus]

When it comes to those who kvetch about women serving in the military, their kvetching would be a lot more impressive if they were to go down to the recruiter and enlist.

Please, I thought that tired old saw died with the "You can't be for the war if you don't enlist" line of bull from the 1960s generation. Why not just call us ChickenHawks and change your tagline to "ANSWER rules"?

[BeHoldAPaleHorse]

Please, I thought that tired old saw died with the "You can't be for the war if you don't enlist" line of bull from the 1960s generation. Why not just call us ChickenHawks and change your tagline to "ANSWER rules"?

Not talking about being for or against the war. I'm talking about putting your money where your mouth is with respect to women serving in the military.

If enough men were to enlist, there would be no space for women, as manpower levels are determined by Congress.

But the men are refusing to enlist.

[Wuli]

"It is a society that has turned its back on God that allows a mother to go to war, when there are plenty of able-bodied men."

"Society" did not send this woman to Iraq, she did, when she chose to join the military. "Society" did not make her a single mother either, she did, when she agreed to hook up with a man to whom she was not married.

While you and the MSM are whining over the plight of this woman, she seems pretty strong about it, and hopefully she will bequeath some of the strength to her children.

[BeHoldAPaleHorse]

My niece is one of those women that they're bad-mouthing. This here Vietnam veteran is getting a wee bit peevish.

[Antoninus]

You're funny...

No, I'm dead serious. Motherhood is the most noble calling in the world. Soldiering is also noble--if done for the right reasons. But the nobility of service to your country in the military is negated if, in the process, you're harming your own kids.

It's all about priorities. If you, as a mother, put your children below service to the state, your priorities are screwed up.

[verity]

Grow up!

[cyborg]

You have every right to be.

[dakine]

Sounds like she put shoes on and got out of the kitchen...

[highball]

"Society" did not make her a single mother either, she did, when she agreed to hook up with a man to whom she was not married.

Hard to take your opinions seriously when you can't be bothered to actually read the article under discussion.

Ignorance does not become you.